Here comes William, Richard's dad, strutting in with his designer shades and vacation shirt - obviously fresh off another beach trip with his latest girlfriend.

The second Susan spotted him, she turned on the tears. "Daddy... thank goodness you're back. They've been so mean to me while you were gone."

"Richard's giving you trouble?" William pushed his sunglasses up and gave Richard the stink eye. "How many times do I have to tell you to look after Susan? I leave for ...