In a dimly lit room, I was lying on a massage table with a blindfold on. Two male massage therapists were moving my body into different positions.

It had been a long time since I felt this way, and I was trying hard to control my body's natural reactions.

Then, one of the men whispered in my ear, "Ma'am, would you like to try something extra special?"

I knew I was in trouble...

My name is Ruby Sun, and I'm a newlywed.

Before we got married, my husband and I were really close. We were always together, sometimes spending whole days just cuddling in bed.

But after the wedding, everything changed.

It was like he suddenly lost interest in me. We were intimate less and less, and when he came home, he'd just stare at his phone non-stop. I didn't know what he was looking at.

Just three months into our marriage, and I felt like I was all alone.

This wasn't how newlyweds were supposed to be, right?

I knew my husband wasn't gay, and from his daily routine, I didn't think he was seeing someone else.

So there had to be a problem between us.

One day, I found two videos on his phone.

One was about a pretty young wife getting a massage. The massage therapist was flirting with her a lot, while her husband was fooling around with a female therapist on the other side of a curtain.

The other video was even crazier. It was about a newlywed wife who had just taken a shower. Her drunk husband was brought home by a male coworker. The coworker then took advantage of the wife right in front of the husband.

But the husband didn't get mad. Instead, he seemed to enjoy watching his wife with another man.

I couldn't understand these stories, but at least it showed my husband still had normal desires.

So how was he dealing with them?

He must be watching these videos and taking care of himself in private. What a waste! I thought angrily as I rode the subway to work the next day.

Looking at my reflection in the subway window, I saw a face that looked sad and upset. I felt really down, in a way that's hard to explain.

My husband would rather watch videos than spend time with me. It made me feel really bad about myself.