"You'd have no idea, Sam."

"Don't call me that!" she screamed.

"I'm sorry, but you must understand. You changed your name and began to be deceptive. Rumors began to circulate about how you were sleeping with older men and making so much money as a result.

And then you decided to move out, so we gave you permission because we thought it would be better for us, but then you showed up with a large sum of money, strange tattoos, and white hair! That caught us off guard; you ...