Maximus

I sat in the chair, staring blankly at the papers on my desk, having finished the second packet of cigarettes and moving on to the third one. It was a daily mundane routine—manage paperwork, get through the burdening hours of each day, and finally, drink myself to sleep. Leonardo's routine wasn't any better.

Seven years.....

Seven fucking years and thirty-five days, it was as if she'd just disappeared into thin air, as if she never existed in the first placem, as if I never had her in my arms or ever seen her face. My body had begun to forget her scent, how it felt, how my skin felt when hers was against mine—but my mind and heart—could never.

I was fucking dead. So fucking dead from the inside.

Sometimes it felt like dying was the easy part, but then again, the hope that someday, maybe someday I'd get to see her again, didn't let me die. It'd be so fucking easy to take a blade and end the struggle, but no. I couldn't just make it easy for myself after everything my brother and I put Maya through, could I? It'd be an injustice to her, wouldn't it? Fuck, it would.

"Where are you, Maya?" I breathed out, burying my face in my hands, "Please... where are you?" My voice began breaking.

Just then, I heard footsteps before the door to my office, and Leonardo walked in, half-drunk, with a bottle of alcohol in his hand.

"I figured you'd need this," he handed me the bottle, settling onto the sofa and taking my packet of cigarettes that was lying on my desk up until now.

I didn't hesitate before raising the bottle to my mouth and taking big gulps—only intoxication could fix me because, in those moments, I saw her, a different her, with a smile and a twinkle in her eyes rather than tears and a voice begging for mercy.

Just to remember everything we'd put her through sickened me to my core, and how, despite knowing it was wrong, we still proceeded, was even more sickening.

"Calling her name like that won't work," Leonardo chuckled bitterly, as he took a drag, his voice faltering, "I have tried that for years. It doesn't fucking work because she doesn't hear us."

"Do I have any other option other than this? We have searched every corner of the world. She is nowhere.... and we don't even know if she's alive," My heart sank at the thought—this was a thought that often didn't let me sleep—the one that took my breath away and made my insides crawl with fear, and I could never shake it away.

"She can't be dead. She just can't...." Leonardo hissed, "She is alive, alright? Don't say stupid stuff and get a hold of yourself! At least one of us needs to be in his right mind to take care of the pack. It needs guidance. We have forgotten our responsibilities once; we can't do it again."

"You never bother to get a hold of yourself anyway, Leo. I know I have to handle the shit," I shrugged, standing up to leave, but then father suddenly walked inside—a rare sight that hadn't happened for years. He hadn't really bothered to talk to us much in these past seven years, and it was a wonder why he had bothered to show up at our office at such an hour.

"What do you need, father? A new mistress after a six-year break?" Leonardo blurted out his question, taking a drag from the cigar, cocking an eyebrow.

"I am not here to have you two speak about my past and point out my mistakes when I can clearly see yours that you have made in the past and even what you two are making at the present," he spoke up, his tone firm as he walked over to us.

Was he fucking here to lecture us?

Hell no, I wasn't taking that shit!

"You can leave if you want to speak about the same old shit," I grumbled, taking a gulp and attempting to walk out, but he snatched my alcohol bottle and threw it against the ground, causing it to shatter into pieces and the floor to get all covered with liquor.

"Don't you dare turn your back to reality again, Maximus. I have had enough of your goddamn drama, and I am done. My duty does not stay limited to being your fucking father; this pack—it needs Alphas who can handle it, make it their responsibility, and make sure it stays protected and keeps thriving with all of them! And now, from what I can see and have been seeing for a long time, it is in the wrong hands! Alphas who drink themselves to sleep, stay drunk all day long, and find solace in the company of drugs are not the kind of Alphas I have chosen for the pack. So either take care of the pack or you two can leave!"

"It's funny that you are talking about responsibilities, Father. A man who couldn't save his wife from getting murdered by his mistress? A man who allowed another woman into their house in the first place? A man who dared to cheat on his wife and let his bloody mistress make fun of her and walk over her? You have no right to tell us what we should be doing," I snarled, "So, keep your advice to yourself and leave us on our own. You are the last person whom we should be taking advice from.”

"You call me out all the time for treating my mate the way I treated, but what did you two fucking do, huh? Did you worship Maya? Oh, so you two mean to tell me that it was your unconditional love that drove her away? That forced her to escape?"

Damn it. He got us there.

"Don't fucking drag her into this...." Leonardo muttered, standing up.

"Drag her?" He chuckled, looking at us incredulously, "You two were the fucking culprits who dragged that poor girl into this mess. What did she have to do in all of these, huh? She was innocent. Tortured by her own mother and on top of that, you two, being her mates, what did you give her? Nothing except for pain and misery. You treated her worse than I treated your mother, Leonardo, and Maximus, so don't go around pointing out my flaws because you two did no better."

This was probably the first time he had opened his mouth like this and been so curt. Despite the fact that we didn't much consider him a father even after he punished Morgana for her deeds, his words today were like being faced with another reality. Maybe another one that we were trying to escape just to keep living by.

"And what do you want to imply by saying all of these?" My voice dropped low, my stare moving to the plain ground.

"What I want to say is that what we have done in the past cannot be changed. I am not proud of my flaws; I hurt your mother, and I regret it till now. I have regretted it every single day since she was gone. It was my mistake. If I hadn't been involved with Morgana in the first place, she'd have never dared to do something like that to my Ayla, and sometimes I want to fucking die to make up for what I have done. But I know my death wouldn't pay for it. Nothing would. I have responsibilities to maintain; I have things to get done before I can finally go to her and beg her for her forgiveness. Only then will this struggle end," He sighed, pausing for a moment before he spoke again.

"But you two, you knew what I did was wrong, no? You have always blamed me, and told me how I could have done things differently, then how did you end up doing the same? Why did you do the same?"

None of us had the answers to his question. We simply didn't have the courage to do so.

"I am not telling you to not grieve for the loss; I am not asking you to put an end to it and stop feeling sorry, but at least live your life. The mistakes you have made can't be justified, but do not forget the other duties you have. Drinking away and spending days in distress is not a way to make up for your mistakes. Do things right, do things that you have done in the past right this time, search for her again, and lastly, don't give up. If it's meant for you, it'll come back — the life you lost, the chances you lost, the peace you didn't value. You'll gain it all back if it was truly meant for you, but until then, don't stop trying."

With that, he walked away, leaving me and Leonardo alone in the room with our thoughts echoing loudly. Minutes passed, and we stayed in our spots, glued and unable to move, until there were sounds of footsteps, and our beta walked in.

"Luna has been found, Alpha."