From the banging around in the kitchen and the smell of food for the last few minutes, I assume the one known as ‘girlfriend’ is being all domestic and shit and acting like the good little housewife she aspires to be. I’ve managed to dry my hair with some silkiness without straighteners, and I’m starving. I ended up leaving most of my smoothie out in the Livingroom, and it will be ruined by now, warm and melted, and totally unpalatable.

I can hear Arry talking to her as I make ...