“This is stupid… I’m not pregnant.”

“You have to pee on this bit and put the lid back on… Do you need me to come in and help?”

“Really? Help me pee on a stick?” I frown at him, and he shrugs. Ever since he went for this damn thing at stupid o’clock, he has practically harassed me to do it. I want to go to bed and be left alone.

I think he’s read the instructions a dozen times, and I take it from him roughly and roll my eyes.

“Maybe you should ...