I am so in love with her. Marriage and babies and forever kind of love for her.

It hits me like a slap in the face and I claw my cell back from the table, brain on auto pilot, mind reacting. Panic searing through me at a rate of noughts that I let myself be blind sighted by my own fear and stupidity and made the worst mistake of my life in losing her. Living in a zombie state because I have a broken heart, at my own hands, from running from the love of my life. For making her leave me ...