Demagio is a round, red-faced and balding specimen that reminds me of an overinflated tyre about to pop out of his trim-fitted tuxedo. He seems like a man who should be eternally greasy in a vest and scratching his balls on some swampy back porch somewhere.

‘’I’m a busy man, and Camilla insisted on this little outing to show off her new dress, didn’t you, sweetheart? Camilla, this is Marcus Demagio … Marcus, Camilla Walters.’’ Alexi throws me a fake look of adoration and ...