Carrero is like a vast vat of toxic soup, and with my idiotic sense of adventure, I just dived right in.

I stand in the apartment, completely disorientated, as he makes us drinks. Silent and calm, like we’re here to have our usual chat and arguments, I am completely on edge and cannot relax. He seems normal, unfazed, and unaffected, and he hasn’t made any moves to touch me since we got in the lift. It’s weird and unnerving, and I shouldn’t be like this.

I’m not a virgin ...