‘Booze or coffee?’ I yell and jump when his head pops out with a completely naked upper torso. All that tanned muscle and tattoos on show have the same effect as mildly tasering me in the vajayjay.

Jesus Christ, Alexi!

‘Coffee … I need a clear head tonight.’ He throws me a charming, drool-worthy smile, oblivious to my squirming hot knickers, smiles, and then slides back out of sight as I am left dazed and lingering at all that muscle and skin he flashed at me.

The ...