Alyssa

"I can't believe you beat me again!"

Niko groans, tossing his controller onto the floor like it personally betrayed him. On-screen, Dragunov delivers the final blow to Kazuya, wiping him out for the third time in a row.

After Zuri went down for the night—fresh from a warm bath and tucked in by two of her daddies like the spoiled little princess she is—Niko challenged me to a Tekken tournament, clearly thinking he could school me.

But three rounds in, and ...