CAMILLE

'Hello, am I speaking with Mrs Camille Parker?'

That very question will haunt my mind for the rest of my damned life.

The call came in while I was preparing dinner.

James had been away for the past seven hours, and I was getting worried.

Although work kept him away most of the time, he never came back late, and he never stayed out for so long.

Where could he have been? Is he so mad at me that he wouldn't mind staying out longer? Is this him trying to punish me for bringing up a discussion?

He hadn't even left the house with his cell phone, probably forgot it in his rush.

Oh God, what's going on? What have I done?

I hurried to answer the call, wondering who was calling and why.

Was it something to do with James?

When the caller announced later who they were, my breath caught in my throat, waiting to know why they were calling my own home.

What's wrong? What's going on that has the cops calling me?

'Please, can you come over to St Mary's hospital? Your husband was involved in an accident, and we will need you to...' the female voice rambled on, but I couldn't keep up.

My legs gave way under me, and the breath that had wedged in my throat all along finally escaped in a shrill scream that shook my small form.

I clutched my arms and tried to get myself together.

Oh my God, what have I done?

'Mrs Parker, are you still there?' The voice on the phone brought me back from my brief state of reverie, and I ended the call immediately.

I had to get to the hospital immediately. I wasn't sure what state James was in, what if he just needed me now, what if there was something I needed to do so they could commence treatment? I had heard the lady say something about me filing a form or something.

I didn't bother to change into anything fancy; time wasn't on my side.

I took the car keys and rushed out of the house, my mind flooded with several possibilities and scenarios that I wished were not true.

What if I got to the hospital late? What if James was already dead? Was his family already informed about the situation? Will I ever forgive myself if anything happens to him?

Stop it, Camille, just stop it already. Everything will be fine.

But standing almost an hour later in front of my husband–or what was left of him knew everything wasn't fine and would never be again.

I could not recognize the man in front of me, and in that moment, I wished I had the power to turn back the hands of time.

My James, my love.

He was all wrapped up in bandages with a leg and an arm hanging in the air. The only visible parts of his body were his face, toes, and stomach, and only the beeping of the life monitor signified the presence of life.

I should be grateful for his life at least, but fear stopped me from celebrating too early. Guilt made me just stand there instead of going closer and touching him, and running my hands over his peaceful face, and whispering my apologies.

A doctor appeared so suddenly that it startled me, but I wiped the tears I had not recognized were running freely down my cheeks and smiled weakly at him.

'Can I see you briefly, Mrs Parker?' His voice was plain, and his face expressionless as he spoke.

How do medical practitioners do this? Maintain a straight face when they are about to share the best or worst news with people?

'Is everything okay?' My voice was no louder than the faint humming of the medical equipment running in the small hospital room.

'Just come with me, ma'am, I only need to tell you a few important things.' he touched my shoulders and rubbed them softly, but it didn't give me the tiniest bit of comfort.

It was only while I walked with the doctor to his office that I realized how badly I was dressed, still wearing my pajama pants and a see-through shirt that read; Universal mummy.

This is so pathetic. Are you that desperate, Camille? What will all these eyes staring at you think of you if they knew... ENOUGH!

As I sat opposite him, a few minutes later, and waited to hear what he had to say, I wished earnestly that it wasn't worse than what I had seen in that room.

What could be worse than James' present state, by the way, probably death.

Is he dying?

'Is James okay? Is he going to die?' I said before I could stop myself, tears spewing from my eyes again. I could feel the goose bumps on my skin even though the room was warm and comfortable.

“No, no, of course not, Mrs Parker. Although he wasn't brought in early by the ambulance, he had lost a lot of blood and had several internal injuries as well. It's a miracle he got here alive, considering his state. Mr James is a fighter. We hope he keeps fighting even now. He pauses to stare at me for a moment, as if to make sure that my assumptions are clear.

I drew my palms to my mouth and sobbed silently, relief and gratitude washing through me.

James had always been that way, ever trying and never giving up, no matter the situation, and I know he'll keep trying as long as he has a motivation to keep going.

At this point, I doubt that I am still his motivation.

But wait, I think I noticed an underlying message in his statement. Was there a chance that things could get worse? Could I lose my husband?

I waited for him to continue, fearing the worst.

'As I said, your husband sustained a lot of injuries and lost a lot of blood, although we still do not know the main reason for his unconscious state, we believe he'll be in that state for quite some time, and he only needs everyone to be strong for him. '

I wanted to ask for how long, at least an estimated time, but the blank look on his face was all the answer I needed.

My life was doomed, and I had not yet realized it.