He came up to me, I could see the desire in his eyes and I'm sure he could feel the tension and fear in my eyes but didn't mind.

What does he care about if not himself?

He tried touching my butt again and I removed his hands.

"Why are you acting like a virgin, this girl?" he said, already frustrated.

I don't blame him for saying that, who is sane enough to believe that a girl is a virgin while working in a bar like funfair.

"Why are you rushing like the night isn't young"

"I'm I supposed to be taking my time, this is not some love making spree, let's get this done with" he lifted up his hands and touched his head.

Yes the drugs were taking effect now, my heart was already dancing with joy, soon this nightmare will be over.

"Haven't you asked why I kept chasing only you in this club?"

"No I haven't, do me a favor by telling me" I responded.

"This your killer shape, I'm obsessed with it and your beautiful face. I keep wondering what is a goddess doing in a place like this," he said, admiring me with lustful eyes.

Of course in the last two years since I started dating there has been no real love all they did was love my body. Not my heart, my soul or even intelligence. All of them loved my body and when I didn't agree to have sex with them there would be a break up soon, not out of anything I'm being accused of but just because I didn't feed their fantasies.

So there was no flicker of surprise when Mike said what he just said.

He sat on the bed for support, since he felt dizzy.

"Those killer lips, damn I bet they taste like vanilla" he said as he slowly kept his head on the pillow while he drifted into sleep.

There was no way, I'll stay in this place one more second before his friends realize what's really going on, I pick my heels.

I didn't take a dime from his pockets, I didn't have the heart to do that.

I just left the room quietly and used the back door to go out.

Just by the trash can, a guy and a girl were making out. Disgusting, really must it be by the trash can I thought to myself. The disgust written all over my face.

"Your face holds the loudest expression" A deep baritone voice reached my ears making me turn to the direction. He looked young quite my age, slender and tall.

"Woah didn't know a poet could be found at a club premises" I said in response.

He smiled "first I'm not a poet"

"Secondly?" I asked with a tinge of sarcasm in my voice as I scanned his outfit, he dressed in black and white too serious for a club.

"I wasn't here on my own Accord" he replied, heaving a sigh of tiredness.

"Woah you were forced to?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Well older brother duty calls" pain filled his green orbs.

"I could totally understand, very relatable " I said laughing as he joined me.

We shared a joke like we've met before like old time friends but this was the first time I was meeting him, yet he was so nice to talk to.

"Gotta get going" I said walking away before he said anything.

I didn't want the little fun to be ruined by him asking for my contact with them weeks after wanting me on his bed, this cycle is too relatable to keep striving in.

After entering a cab, that's when I realized that I was still wearing my club outfit and the guy I just met saw me in that was not necessary but I felt kinda embarrassed, I quickly wore a hoodie on top of the skirt.

My mood had already turned sour because I didn't have money and I was going home empty handed, what will Tessa eat before going to bed and Dad I'm sure he hadn't eaten before leaving for work and would probably be at the little bar close to home, it's a routine to pick him there everyday.

My heart was heavy certainly but I didn't know how to address these emotions, they get too heavy as the day goes by.

I've stopped believing that they get any lighter.

Rather I make more space for it and sadly it has become my best friend and safe place.

Ever since mom went for her trip we haven't heard from her.

I don't know who to blame, the universe or my mother.

She spent years slaving for us and taking every physical and emotional abuse our dad gave her till she got this job in the embassy where she travels almost every time till she totally neglected us.

I became a mother and caretaker before I even knew about anything that has to do with the harsh reality of life.

Instead if commiting suicide, I've decided to stay alive for Tessa, she doesn't deserve what life did to her by first giving her such parents.

At least let me be the reason she sees life as worth living and memorable.

If I can do that then I'll say my life was well lived, since the universe has sworn that I wouldn't be a lawyer or neither will I marry a prince charming.

The cab stopped and I came down from the cab and paid him his money.

"Don't think you're insufficient miss, just know you're enough" the cab driver said to me, he was an elderly man.

I was wondering what made him ditch advice to me when I realized that there were tears all over my face.

Yet I didn't feel any sort of relief not even after my head replayed those cab driver words.

I just want life to get better.

Mom is back. Dad is not drinking. A stable family income so I don't have to work and get my degree to Oxford university for my law degree. Having my sister go to the best highschool.

That's all I ask.

But each time I ask it seems like I'm not deserving of it.

Like unlucky or cursed.

That's when I spotted her.