"Asher Conman?"

The new football coach inquired, the moment I got down from my Bentley as though he had been awaiting this particular moment the whole morning. I could immediately tell who he was because I was earlier informed by Principal Markson prior to resumption, on one of his many visits to my home in an attempt to familiarize himself better with my father, about the employment of a new coach following the very shocking retirement of Coach Brandon and ever since my Dad was appointed the Mayor of Calton, Principal Markson suddenly seemed to have forgotten the route which led to his home, even though he had a family who definitely would appreciate his presence more.

"It's such a pleasure to meet you young man," he said, extending his hands eagerly for a handshake of which I slowly accepted. 

I missed Coach Brandon already, this man before me seemed like a retired colonel and looked way too serious for the job but hey a captain’s gotta follow orders regardless.

“I'm your new coach Jeffery by the way, and I must immediately commend you because I got to hear of your amazing impact and contributions to the football team so far.You know.... It's a new era, a new season, and I am hoping we can work together to take the Calton Vulls up the scale!” He said with a child-like excitement, his solid features suddenly softening.

Who even says up the scale in this context?

“Oh yeah...nice to finally meet you” I finally responded. “I'll be totally honest, sending away coach Brandon was pretty shitty, I mean none of the boys saw it coming, not even Brandon himself to the best of my knowledge, and now every member of the team seems really pissed, i fear a bullet may be shot at you at the very first sighting of you today on the pitch but like you said,” I paused for a moment putting on  a wry smile, “I also do hope we get along and work together.”

 Yes, I had just made him freak out on the first day of his new job but I honestly couldn’t give a shit. He just had to get used to my blunt manner of speaking. I hoped he was aware of  the large space he needed to fill up after the biased exit of Coach Brandon.  I watched as he nervously walked away after my harmless statement.

Such a kitty cat!  He was surely not going to last…mourning his drastic end already. 

I managed to get myself past the nuzzling pool of girls standing in wait at the hallways wishing to get a glimpse of me before I got to class…Jojo sees this as a flex but it honestly gets overwhelming. However, my peeps—Shirley and Jojo always helped to make my job of feigning nonchalance to the ladies an easy one  as we walked through the hallways catching up on several gossip topics .

This however did not last so long this time around because there was suddenly a storm of notification beeps on the phones of everyone in the hallway, and immediately, it felt like a spell had just been casted as we watched students get religiously glued to their phones, all heads down, clicking and staring in anticipation, we looked at each other knowing that could mean just one thing at Calton High.

Shirley—‘oh my god i think she just posted!’

#MissTaken#

Hey loosers! (Asher baby you are definitely excluded, i must say the recent post on I.G got a girl drooling for the last two days…such nice Abs you got there. Oops!

sorry ads yeah brand ads i meant to say…UP NIKE!! wink wink).

Okay back to the rest of y’all. Ohh dear I can already imagine your curious eyes digging holes into your screens. I know you all missed me, totally get that.  just like i would always say. Calton high has got a vitamin called-–Vitamin ‘M’ which you can't just do without. Proudly, I remain that drug without a doctor’s prescription you jokers need in order to get your boring lives finally kicking and active. Anyways, just making sure I strip you of every unreasonable moral virus, okay? Okayy??

Good.

Now why don’t we start this party all over. Happy ‘first day back’ guyss! hope we did have a great summer? Oh! no need answering that, I know you all did and while you all were out having your risky and i mean it when i say ‘risky’ fun while letting loose, I, your ever reliable Vitamin, remained my ever effective self, and i did that by studying! yes guys get that right, WHILE YOU PARTIED AWAY I STUDIED! 

You know how much I love to take my studies of you all pretty seriously.

ohh shit hold on!

 I bet you thought for a moment there I meant like Geography? hell nah! the earth definitely can be flat or round, cubical or even shaped like an amoeba and i still couldn’t give a f**ck!... 

Okayy...now that we've established what my study sessions this summer were about, aren't you all excited to see what I learned? 

Oh sure you are…you nosy as**s! even though you won’t ever admit that truth. 

Oh and for those who are, there is really no need to be nervous, I am just doing my job here. 

 Now, for those who tried to be smart and cover up their tracks, you should know well enough I walk faster than you will ever sprint and so prepare to get sick of me this semester.  I promise, you would all puke out your deepest, darkest secrets…

okay be nice girl their heart beats are too rapid now.

I meant, unwanted internal viruses not secrets okayy yeah and that i will do until you have nothing left in your systems other than utter humiliation, sorry wellness...my bad.

Now just before I log off this space Carltons, why don’t we take just a  look into my study book finally, I mean aren’t we all so curious about what may be in here? I definitely am!

 snoop…snoop…snoop…(PAUSE)!

Ohh...Wow! That definitely isn’t a first; A senior sadly stood up after a promised hot session at the Maple hills company event. wow, i see our little Missus got her daddy to get her in there, cant lie i am quite jealous of you nepo babies and thats why i am thankful you stayed the whole night needy…SL*T!

Oh wait…wait a minute! this gets even hotter!! The next page entry tells me she didn't stay the whole night needy after all!

She did get some…

 Look at you looking  all needy in that white lingerie, humping in bed with a beloved teacher at Calton high and his SISTER IN LAW! (Mr G…pray I never feel bitchy enough to reveal the next letter after the G for better identification,  you know how curious your student’s minds are)!

I guess the summer really got hot, didn't it? Oh don't you worry, I'm sure we all do agree with you Samantha Davies, that there shouldn’t be a crowd at all!