EVELYN

I really love Dave, don’t get me wrong. Every moment with him feels like an additional life, as the world fades away, leaving only us in our own little bubble. But no matter how perfect it felt, no matter how much I craved him, in my mind, body, and soul there was this strange, nagging thought that refused to leave my head. It screams at me, over and over again, reminding me of the line we’ve crossed and the consequences we might face if anyone ever found out.

It’s not just guilt, it’s fear. A fear that claws at my chest and kept me awake at night. I can’t stop thinking about what would happen if our parents knew. Walking in their shoes, even for a second in my life, was unbearable. The thought of how they’d feel… it’s enough to send a knife down my throat.

If they found out, it wouldn’t just hurt, it would destroy them. It would shatter the image they've for us, and their family. Their names would be forever ruined. Imagine nosy and ignorant people who are too quick to judge and tag them as irresponsible parents, but trust me, they really tried for us. They were real definitions of good parents. It would be more than pressing a heated iron against their neck, searing through their hearts, leaving scars that could never heal, which I even doubt they'd ever recover from. No, it would be worse than that. It would hunt so deep, beyond their wildest imagination, that's if they ever survived after hearing the news.

The mere idea of seeing that kind of pain in their eyes makes my stomach churn. I know it’s not just about me and Dave anymore; it’s about the ripple effect of our choices, the fallout that would touch every corner of our lives.

I sat on the edge of my bed, staring at the floor, my thoughts a chaotic mess. “Am I doing the wrong thing?” I whispered to myself, my voice barely audible over the storm in my head. “Or am I just overthinking everything?”

My heart and mind were at war. On one hand, there was this undeniable connection with Dave, this pull that seemed impossible to resist. On the other hand, there was my conscience, screaming at me to think about the bigger picture.

“I have a conscience,” I said out loud, trying to steady my voice, “and I care about how our parents feel.” I took a deep breath, as if saying it out loud would somehow make it easier. So, I think I’ll go with lust. It’s simpler, safer, and more rewarding, don't you agree with me?

The words hung in the air, heavy and final. Choosing lust meant kissing hot sex, cuddling, and good head, goodbye forever. Nothing deeper, nothing lasting. It meant finding a way to put distance between us before we lost ourselves completely.

Determined, I pushed myself off the bed, with a thud that seemed louder than usual. Standing tall even though my legs felt shaky my feet meeting the floor. I stood there for a moment, feeling the weight of my own frustration settle like a stone pounding severally on my chest before turning to face Dave, who was lounging casually on my bed, his familiar smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. It was the kind of smirk that usually made me weak, but not this time. This time, I had to be stronger.

“Please leave my room,” I said, pointing firmly at the door with my trembling fingers. My voice was harsh with a tone I doubt I've ever used with him, but inside, my heart was breaking into pieces.

Dave’s head tilted slightly, confusion flashing across his face. He didn’t move, his brows furrowing as though my words weren’t registering. “Hey, Evie, slow down,” he said, his voice low and soothing. “Will you just tell me what’s wrong? What’s wrong with you? Just tell me and please stop acting weird because it doesn't suit you.”

His concern almost broke me. Almost. But I couldn’t let myself falter. I took a deep breath, steadying my resolve. “Dave, what’s wrong,” I said, my voice firm and louder than before, “is that you’re in my room. So leave my fucking room. Now.”

The harshness in my words seemed to finally sink in and he could tell I wasn't joking. His shoulders stiffened, and he stood up from the bed slowly, his movements cautious, like he was trying to study me or afraid I might shatter if he pushed too hard. “Evie, just take a deep breath,” he urged, reaching out to take my hands, with his cute face washed with helplessness.

I jerked my hand back, my body stiffening as I glared at him. “Don’t you dare lay those filthy hands on me,” I snapped, my voice cutting with anger and pain but I couldn’t stop the venom that was rising in me. My pulse was quickening, and every inch of my skin felt like it was on fire.

His face fell, the handsome face crumpled totally as he took a step back. He gazed and scanned my face. “Evie, I truly do love you,” he said, his voice breaking slightly. “I’ll do anything to make it up to you, and fix whatever’s wrong,” he said with desperation.

God, why did he have to say things like that? My resolve wavered for a moment, my body betraying me as a deep, aching need coursed through me. My pussy screamed for him, begged for him to pin me to the wall and take me right then and there and fuck me till it hurt so badly or better still, till my pussy tears.

“Get those dirty thoughts off,” an inner voice whispered. I tightened my fists, trying to stand my ground and refusing to give in.

“No fucking words from you,” I said, my voice sharp and cold. “Just leave my damn room.” I grabbed his shirt from the edge of the bed and threw it at him, the shirt hitting his chest before falling to the floor.

He stared at me, his eyes searching mine as if trying to wait for me to announce it was all a prank. “I know you don’t mean it,” he said finally, his voice full of assurance. “I’ll come back tonight. Just leave your door open.”

I shook my head, my resolve hardening. “I’m dead serious, Dave. I meant every word I said. Don’t even think about coming back to my room or blowing my phone up with messages.”

His jaw tightened, his fists clenching at his sides, but he didn’t argue. He looked at me one last time, his eyes filled with a mix of anger and hurt, before turning toward the door. I thought he might lash out, might say something cruel. Like I was waiting for the regular aggressive Dave, but instead, he paused at the doorway, his gaze scanning through the bed for the final time before meeting mine.

“And just so you know, whatever stupid thing we had is now over. Pretend like it never happened. Big brother,” I added, my voice filled with sarcasm.

And then, without another word, he walked out with the door clicking shut behind him.

I sank onto the floor, my chest heaving as the weight of what I’d done settled over me. My mind raced with questions, doubts, and fears. Had I made the right decision? Or had I just thrown away the one thing that satisfied me?

I buried my face in my hands, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. “I think I just did the right thing,” I whispered to myself, trying to convince my heart of what my head already believed. Don’t you agree with me?”

That was the way to protect everyone. Sometimes, love isn’t enough. Sometimes, you have to let go, even if it breaks you.