Marrying the head of New York’s most secretive kink club might not have ever been on my bucket list.

But ever since the day I pricked my finger and signed my blood across that page, I’ve started to consider some of the potential upsides to getting inside Matteo’s world.

Upsides like access.

At first, after what happened to me when I was seventeen, I wallowed in the “random bad luck” of what had been done to me and to Nina. But slowly, with therapy, and in the survivors’ groups I ...