Kimberly

"Kim??"

"Kim??" Anna's voice got louder as she walked towards me.

I remained on her little couch with my legs pressed to my chest and my eyes staring blankly at the wall.

I just can't explain it... The physical squeeze my heart experiences every second I think back at what happened.

At what he said— they've been having an affair for six months now.

Leaving the building was a blur. I remember there were people who called out to me, but I didn’t stop or acknowledge them. Thankfully a taxi was waiting in front of the building, I jumped into it.

I couldn't go home. Not back to the woman who just laid with her step daughter's boyfriend, barely eight months after my father died.

And Ethan?

How did I think so highly of him? How stupid I was for seeing something that wasn't there.

For believing him when he said he loved me. For wanting to spend the rest of my life with him.

"Kim you can't keep doing this," Anna said, crouching just beside me. "I admit that I never liked this guy... Something about him was just so off but look, I don't blame you."

I sniffed.

"I don't blame you at all for falling in love with him but girl, I'm going to blame you if you keep sulking."

“Can we get up from this hard floor now?” she groaned jokingly when my breaths turned back to normal. “Yeah,” I choked, my throat was on fire.

“Okay, you’re going to take a shower. I’ll get you a glass of lemonade," she added, lifting me up from the floor both literally and emotionally.

"No." 

She looked at me like I just dropped a bomb so I sniffed and then used my thumb to wipe my eyes. "I need something stronger— vodka, whiskey... Definitely not lemonade."

"Oh Jesus!" she spat out, still looking at me with her brows arched. "I got you."

It usually takes an hour to get ready, but this time? It took two hours and forty-five minutes.

Anna wanted to make sure everything was perfect. From my lipstick to mascara and even my cleavage which she kept trying to scan.

"Perfect!" She said with a wink. "Now, you're going to get something strong."

I held her hand as we walked into the club. Blue and red strobe lights illuminated the room, making everyone appear more like a shadow.

This may not be what I need but fuck it, Ethan doesn’t deserve me.

The loud music had girls whining and everyone getting wild over a drink or something. I stood for a moment as Anna danced away only to return with drinks.

“Girl, loosen up and have as much fun. You need it trust me. And here,” she added stretching a glass of vodka to me. "Think you need this?”

Without thinking twice, I took it and gulped the content.

I was taking the second glass when Anna pulled closer to me and whispered. “I see this guy I like over there. I’ll need to talk to him and see what I get from him tonight."

She chuckled and looked at me like a shepherd would look at his sheep. “Kim, I need you to think of what you wouldn’t do on a normal day and do it now. This is your time, you don’t want to look back at today and regret not taking action.”

She left after planting a soft kiss on my cheek and I just stood there. 

Was I dumb to love Ethan the way I did? 

Looking back at my purse, I took deep breaths to settle my feelings.

Just a few hours ago I was sure I was ready to get married at twenty-one.

My insides turned to needles. Every breath hurt me. Was there something he saw wrong in me?

I thought he was everything I needed; Slim, tall, and kind. So wasn’t I everything he needed too?

“You need something, ma’am?”

The clear stern voice of the bartender reminded me I was not on my bed but in a fucking club with loud music. 

I nodded immediately and swallowed hard. “Distilled whiskey, please.”

“Sure.”

He did his thing and returned to me with a flute of whiskey. I took it with a nod of thanks and gulped it. 

I exhaled while letting the last droplet of whiskey sit on my tongue.

What wouldn’t I do on a normal day?

I turned my head and my eyes fell on a broad-chested man, smiling as he whispered some words to his phone.

I turned back to the bartender. "Another glass, please. I'll uh— I'll appreciate something stronger."

Something in me switched, urging me to look at my side again. I obliged, only to find dark gray eyes staring my way.

His eyes connected with mine for a few seconds before I blinked away.

I’m not sure who cared to listen but at that point, I knew what I wouldn’t do on a regular day is to fuck an older man who may be married with kids. 

I took a deep drink from what was left iny glass and closed my eyes, willing myself to be calm.

I dropped the glass and swallowed hard. My hand moved to the neckline of my plum colored wrap dress. It’s not that revealing, but I feel exposed before his knowing gaze.

I cleared my throat, trying to act oblivious of his stare but it was so difficult to ignore.

You don't see men who dressed to fit in at this upscale place all the time. Charcoal gray slacks cut perfectly to accentuate the taper of his waist, and a black linen shirt that draped across his powerful body.

You know what? I'm just going to go straight to him, and then I'm going to tell him to take me home.

Simple, right?

I was just about to order an extra glass for some confidence boost but I stopped myself.

If I drink a little more every time I feel on edge tonight, I’ll get plastered.

Footsteps on the vinyl flooring behind me made my stomach twist.

"Sure you're okay?" He asked with a concerned smile. "You've been staring really hard."

"At you?"

He held up his hands as a gesture of surrender.

"My eyes just happened to land on you," I claimed. "Nothing special."

He took a sip from his wineglass, utterly unhurried, completely and maddeningly calm.

“If it was nothing special, I wouldn’t be standing out here now,” he said softly. "I saw it on your face the moment I looked at you."

I shook my head.

"I'm sorry about what your ex did to you."

I choked. "What? How... How did you know that?"

"Did I know that? No. Did you just confirm it? Yes."

Holy fuck, who is this man?

I feel naked in front of him. Exposed, and vulnerable.

I can’t think straight, thanks to the alcohol but all I want is to get away.

To get away from here, and maybe to get away with him.

"I'm not enjoying this."

“I think you are.” The presumption of this man. “Excuse me?”

"Scrap that, I am actually a boring man." His tone remained diffident, but his eyes were another story. "But I think you already know that. Just the way I know what you really want."

My eyes arched, just so I could look at him properly.

“On your terms, and within your limits," he added.

"I uh..." Oh shit, am I tongue tied? "I uh.."

"You want this, don't you?"

I want to tell him that he’s wrong. Yes, I did give that sultry look but do I really want to do something I wouldn't do on a normal day?