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Envy's Burden

Daniel's fear made him remain quiet to avoid seeming petty. But James' text from the party echoed in his mind, and the burden of his insecurity was too heavy. "It's just that you call him 'babes'," he said in a low tone." It feels… like I am not enough when you are like that with him." His heart pounded, exposing his vulnerability, a risk he had never taken before.

Cindy's face hardened, and her warmth faded. "That's just Frederick, Daniel. We have been college friends. That is how we talk. Don't tell me you are jealous of my best friend." Her tone carried a tired edge, as if she had had this conversation before. She crossed her arms, waiting for his reply, her eyes searching his face for a sign of trust.

The thought of losing her terrified Daniel, yet he yearned to be her most important person. He wanted to say how Frederick's presence made him feel small, but words stuck in his throat. His aggressive confrontation had already blown up in his face. He decided. He wouldn't push her again it only drove a wedge between them. Rather, he would show her he could be everything Frederick was and more. "You are right;" he said, and forced a smile. I am just being silly. Yet in his mind he was forming a plan, driven by his fear and misbelief that he had to compete for her love.

The rest of the evening was strained. They watched the movie, but Cindy's laughter was lower, and her touches less frequent. Daniel sensed the distance growing, a chasm he created due to speaking up. As she left she kissed him softly, but her eyes held the question: "Can you trust me?" Daniel did not have the answer. That night he lay awake, as the hum of the city was a reminder of his unrest. His affection for Cindy had not shaken, but the fear of losing her to Frederick was stronger. He needed a plan, an approach that would turn the tables without hurting her.

The next day at Apex Engineering, Daniel drowned himself into his work in a bid to suppress his thoughts. His boss was breathing down neck, and the high-rise project was behind the schedule. Though, as he sketched designs, Frederick's shadow lingered in his mind. Cindy had him texted him a message concerning a campaign that she was undertaking where she mentioned Frederick's advice on it. The casual reference stung, bringing Daniel's fear he was a second option. He needed to act and prove he was enough. At the end of the day he was determined: he would make Cindy see him as her real partner.

After two days of feeling irritated and eager to make a switch, Daniel made a bold move. He bought a Play station 5 and FIFA 24, from his savings, believing that it would do them some good, something that could make them happy just like she enjoyed her sessions with Frederick. He pictured them laughing jointly and erupting new memories to cover the space of Frederick in her life. On Friday evening, He arrived at Cindy's loft unannounced, with the console box on his arm and a nervous grin on his face.

"Surprise!" he said, setting the box on her coffee table. Cindy was in sweatpants, her hair in a messy bun, scrolling, through her laptop. The loft smelled of her lavender candles, and jazz played softly in the background. “I thought we could have our own FIFA tournaments, just you and me," Daniel added, in a hopeful voice.

Cindy's smile faded, and her eyes narrowed with suspicion. "What is this all about," she said as she crossed her arms." Is this because of Frederick? Because you are jealous I play games with him?"

"No, that's not." Daniel replied.

" Stop it, Daniel. This is getting past funny into annoying. That jealous part of you doesn't appeal to me. Can't you trust me?" Her voice was sharp, cutting through his enthusiasm. She turned away, leaving the console untouched, and busied herself with her laptop. The jazz felt mocking now, filling the silence between them. Daniel stood frozen, the weight of his mistake pressing down. His fear of losing her had driven him to act, but instead of bringing them closer, he'd pushed her further away.

Daniel's attempt to say it was a nice present, a tool for them to see each other more often, did not help, as they both understood he was pulling her leg. The truth was, He wished she'd stop trying to fool Frederick and just play with him instead. He wanted to become his replacement in making her laugh and play enjoyable games.

He sat on the couch, looking at the console box." I didn't mean like that, Cindy, I just wanted something special for us, you know?" Her fingers were tapping at her keyboard and she did not look up. The gap in between them was tangible, and he could not find a way to close it. Frederick's presence, whether present or not, was a looming force, threatening to unravel everything.

That gift led to awkwardness between them all weekend. Her behavior made him feel Cindy was unsure of his intentions and why he trusted her. After Sunday's game, Daniel was exhausted and more annoyed than he was earlier in the day.

That night, Daniel left her loft, the city's lights blurring as he walked to his car. His plan had failed, and his fear was now stronger. He needed a new approach, something to make a change without losing her. As he drove through Manhattan, the skyline towering above, he felt the weight of his choices. Competing with Fredrick was leading him down a dangerous path. He simply did not realize it.

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