I was in the kitchen staring at the untouched coffee pot when Alex walked in. His face was carved in stone. No hello. No glance. Just the flick of a phone being set on the table.

"Play it," he said with a big frown.

My stomach dropped. My fingers hesitated over the screen, but I tapped it.

There I was. On the screen. My robe slipping. My body arching. My face flushed. Every detail displayed with cruel clarity. The same video. All over again. Someone had filmed it. Sent it to him.

I felt sick.

He waited until it finished, then looked at me.

"Why him?" Alex asked. His voice was low, but it shook with restrained fury.

"I did not mean for it to happen," I said quietly. "I was not thinking. I was hurt. Confused. I made a mistake."

"A mistake?" His fist slammed the counter. The coffee pot jumped. "Do you know how long I have been trying to protect you from every side? From Dan. From Mateo. From the goddamn walls that want to crush you? And this is what you do in return?"

I couldn't believe it. He was yelling at me...Alex was yelling at me in the exact way that Dan used to.

I couldn't bear it. I was confused but I refused to be intimidated.

"Why do you care anyway?" I snapped, my voice rising past my restraint. "This... all of this... this marriage, it is all a game, is it not? All of this is just a piece of strategy to make you look like the hero."

Alex blinked. The anger in his eyes shifted into something else. I could see a mixture of extreme shock and hurt in him at that moment.

I felt the heat in my throat. The shame. The guilt. The confusion. I did not want to cry. I wanted to fight. I wanted to hurt him the way I felt hurt. But I also wanted to run into his arms and scream that I was sorry.

So I did the only thing I could think of.

I kissed him...desperately. My lips crashed into his like we were both drowning and the only breath left in the world was on the other side of each other.

He stiffened. For a second. Maybe two. Then his hands found my waist, gripping me like I might disappear. Our mouths moved in frantic rhythm. There were no sweet pauses. No careful touches. This was not love. It was close to chaos. It was both anger and lust tied in a knot.

Alex lifted me onto the table, knocking the phone aside. His shirt came off, then mine. His body pressed against mine with such intensity I could not think of as our kiss deepened.

We moved fast, undressing each other. The table beneath us shook with every movement. His fingers dug into my hips and my laps. My nails scratched down his back. Our breath was mingled, ragged and wild.

He buried his face in the nape of my neck. There was no hesitation as his hands went all the way to the core of my pussy, digging till I was ready to cum.

Then he turned me put his dick inside my hole, grabbing my arms gently but tightly as he did.

He moved swiftly but ever so gently, making me to savour every but of the fucking as much as I savoured the scent of his musk every morning. Alex fucking me was nothing compared to Javi. Javi's was transactional, Alex was the real deal. His touch, his feel, even when he tried to fuck me aggressively, it still made me cum with pleasure.

I moaned loudly then he civered my mouth with one arm, placing the other on my hips as he continued to fuck me.

When it was over, he collapsed beside me on a couch nearby. Both of us were still breathless, skin still damp with sweat. A while after, he entered the bedroom quietly, leaving me half naked and alone.

I wanted to believe that what we just shared had meant something. That in the midst of the chaos, there was still something real between us. I also wanted so badly for Alex to believe that I wasn't the slut the video showed me to be.

But I knew better. Everything that Alex and I had was an illusion and even if I told him the truth, his image would still be ruined by the evidence of what I had done.

He was still sleeping when I entered our...his bedroom so I tiptoed quietly, careful not to wake him.

I picked up his phone. My fingers trembled as I scrolled to the folder with the video. There it was. My shame. My mistake. The crack that tore everything apart.

I deleted it. Even though I knew there would already be copies saved on some other device at least he won't have to see my shameful act on this one anymore.

Then I moved to the closet. I grabbed a small bag. Jeans. A hoodie. The burner phone Alex had given me back at the shelter. My passport. Just in case. A small wad of cash from the stack Alex had kept in his room and given me permission to use.

I looked back at him once.

His chest rose and fell slowly. He looked younger and more peaceful than the mafia boss I knew when he slept- almost innocent as though he has never killed a mice or more, an human being before.

I could not wait for the moment when he would wake up and look at me with questions I could no longer answer. Or worse, with decisions I could not bear to face.

So I stepped out into the hallway with my small bag in my hands.

A small drop of tear managed to escape. Then another. Until a stream washed my fashed

I left home again.

But this time, I kept looking back.