“I was raped,” he whispered.

“What...do you mean?”

“I was raped,” Ren repeated again, this time more loudly, tears streaming down his face as he hugged Liam tightly.

Liam just sat frozen in place; he couldn't breathe properly. He tried catching his breath as he processed what he'd just heard.

Ren pulled away from the hug and seated himself, curled up on the bed, his body trembling, his eyes void of emotions but filled with tears, his lips dry, and he clenched his hands so tight that his knuckles had turned pale white.

"What?" Liam's voice cracked; he stood up trying to console Ren. He had heard it before, but his brain couldn't take it, but now his brain had processed what Ren said. "What do you mean? Who...? What happened to you?"

Ren didn't speak; he just shook his head like it would stop the demons crying in his head, like it would erase the memory the man had made with him, the scars, and the wounds his heart was feeling right now.

Liam weakly knelt in front of him, his eyes wide and hurt. "No, no, please, tell me, was it... because I sent you there? Was it the bar? Was it this evening, not long ago?"

Ren flinched, and that sent the message to Liam that Ren had truly been raped.

He stood up slowly, regretting his decisions as he turned his back to Ren. "I shouldn’t have sent you there... oh god, what have I done?" He murmured, and he turned back, facing Ren, reaching out carefully to brush hands on Ren's hair.

Ren didn't pull away; he was used to Liam showing affection when the two of them got affected.

Liam had sat back, encircling his hands on Ren's small frame. Liam held him so tightly as if he could stop time hours ago to bring Ren back home, like if he could reverse time and go back and take Ren's place.

“I didn’t know,” Liam whispered into his hair. “If I had known…” he sobbed, “I wouldn't have sent you there. I swear if I had known, I would have taken your place a hundred times.”

“Don’t say that; if you were there, you would protect me. I know you; you'll always protect me. You wouldn't let anything happen to me, but I don't blame you; I blame myself for being weak...”

“You are not weak,” Liam defended; he knew no apology was ever going to be enough. But he said it anyway, meaning every bit of it: “I’m sorry, I really am. I'm so sorry.” Liam's tears streamed down.

Ren forced a smile; Liam could tell it was fake, but he had to smile with Ren. He hugged him like that for what felt like hours till they drifted off to sleep.

***

The next morning, Liam woke up before Ren, untangling himself from Ren. He stared at Ren for a minute, smiling and brushing out strands of long dark hair that fell below his face, hiding his brows to his upper lips.

He looked so peaceful in sleep, but there was still tension in his jaw, like he was having a nightmare. Liam’s chest ached at the sight; he clenched his fist before tiptoeing away.

Liam made coffee, pacing the kitchen as he prepared breakfast for both of them.

When Ren finally stirred, the morning sun was up, and Liam greeted him with the smallest of smiles. “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” Ren replied back; his mood looked better than last night. At least the weight wasn’t heavy in his mind.

“I was thinking,” Liam said, gently placing a cup of coffee on the table, signalling Ren to take it, “maybe today… We do something different, something for you.”

Ren blinked, his eyes looking confused. “For me?”

Liam nodded and smiled at him. “First of all, we have to eat breakfast and change up before I can tell you what we are doing today.

***

After they might have freshened up, Liam held Ren's hands as they left their room.

Their first stop was an old barber shop Liam had always cut off his hair at. Ren looked scared and a bit hesitant to trim his hair.

His fingers twirled and twisted the hem of his hoodie. “I don’t know if I want to do it,” he mumbled.

Liam reached out, brushing a strand of hair behind his ear. “It’s not about changing your personality,” he said. “It’s about helping you see who you’ve always been.”

Ren smiled, nodding with a little grin. Liam could still see that he was awkward. “I’ll try it.”

The haircut was a simple clean cut; it was the first time Ren had cut his hair short to that length. He saw himself in the mirror and realised he had been stuck in one thing.

“Hey,” Liam said from behind him, grinning. “You look like trouble now.”

“Nonsense, stop exaggerating,” he smiled.

“I’m not, you look so good” Liam caressed his hair paying the hair barber. “Now, we go to the next stop”.

It was the piercing parlour, Ren was scared, it was written on his face, he looked at the lady who was in charge of piercing him, she smiled at him, then Ren turned to Liam and back again with a very rejected look.

“You don’t have to,” Liam said softly. “But… it would look cool on you. you will look more matured even.”

“Matured? I'm 21.” Ren quarrelled.

Liam smiled. “Sure, you are, but you don't look.”

Ren nodded defeatedly as the woman pierced both his ears, fixing a dot earring.

“Wow, this looks nice on you,” Liam commented as they moved to their next stop, a tattoo parlour.

Ren immediately regretted leaving the house; today he had done things with Liam that he alone couldn't muster the courage to do.

The tattoo parlour smelt of ink and Liam; he had already picked out the design he wanted for Ren. It was rays of sun breaking through a cloud; it was minimalistic.

Ren stared at the sketch on his wrist. “Why, sunshine?” he asked.

“Because that’s what you are.” Liam’s voice was low. “You always shine and reflect your bright light on people who are down; you know you are a star.”

“Thank you,” Ren blushed, smiling at Liam. “I hope this is the last thing we do today; I feel so rebellious,” he complained.

“Don’t worry, we are going home already.”

**

By the time they returned to their apartment, Liam didn't go all in; he waited for Ren to go in before he leaned against the doorway, his arms crossed, watching Ren.

“You know,” he said after a beat, “you’re glowing right now.”

Ren turned, half smiling and blushing; he was overwhelmed.

Liam reached out and gently tilted his chin up. “I’ll say welcome to a new you.”

“A new me?” Ren tilted his head to the side.

“Yeah, a new you, a new life.” Liam whispered.

“And we are going to be changing that.”