The next few months passed in a blur of good days and bad days with the bad days starting to outnumber the good ones and I could feel my body giving up bit by bit.

"We should start thinking about funeral arrangements" I told Jax one morning during a rare moment when I felt clear headed.

"Not yet" he said "We don't need to think about that yet."

"Jax" I said gently "We do need to think about it and I'd rather make these decisions while I can instead of leaving you to guess what I would have ...