The third year was harder physically because my body was really starting to fail in ways that couldn't be hidden or ignored and there were days when getting out of bed felt like climbing a mountain.

"Maybe you should stay in bed today" Jax suggested one morning when he found me sitting on the edge of the mattress trying to gather the energy to stand.

"If I stay in bed I'll never get up again" I said "And I'm not ready for that yet."

"Stubborn" he muttered but he helped me to my feet ...