I now realize I’ve been numb for years and that if I want to come back to being myself, maybe Elliot is a good stepping stone to get there.

I continue to eat in silence as Daniel and Beck talk about some new Pilates app they have downloaded.

My mind wanders off on a tangent again . . . I like Edgar. He’s sweet and intelligent and swoony but then I remember who he really is.

I don’t need a complication like Elliot Miles in my life. Far from it, I’m not a young girl blinded by lust with doe-in-the-headlight eyes. I don’t need my boss going down on me in the work sauna to feel alive.

I know better.

But . . . my boss going down on me in the work sauna . . . even that statement turns me on.

I’ve got fucking issues.

I’m finally just getting my shit together . . . I’ll be going backwards by falling into bed with someone as gorgeous and dominant as him.

It’s a disaster waiting to happen.

“You like him, don’t you?” Rebecca says as she directs the conversation back to me.

“Who?” I act dumb.

They both roll their eyes. “Elliot Miles.”

“I don’t know him, and why are you two going on about this all night?”

“Sorry.” Rebecca widens her eyes.

We continue eating.

“You’ve got your work Christmas party tomorrow night, haven’t you?” Beck asks to change the subject.

“Just drinks in the office. What have you guys got on?”

“I’m sleeping at Brett’s,” Rebecca answers.

“I’m going home to see my folks for a few days,” Daniel says. “My mum is a bit down.”

“Is she okay?” I ask.

“She had cancer this year and it’s taken its toll. I’m going home to help her wrap and prepare for Christmas Day. My father is useless.”

I smile as I put my hand over Daniel’s on the table. “You’re a good man, you know that?”

“Well, there’s only me this year—my sister’s deployed and won’t be home until February.”

“She’s in the navy, right?” I ask.

He nods proudly. “She’s a badass. Could totally kick my butt.”

We chuckle.

“You’re having Christmas Day lunch here for your brother and sister, right?”

I nod. “It sounded like a good idea at the time.”

“Not so much now?” Daniel asks.

“Ugh, I haven’t even thought about what I’m cooking. It’s all just too hard.”

“Well, I’m only going away for two days and then I’ll come back and help you prepare the food. I don’t leave to go home until Christmas Eve, and we could have most of it done before I go.”

“You don’t have to do that.” I smile.

“Babe, what else am I going to do? Being at home for more than two days drives me crazy and tomorrow is my last day at work. We can work out a few recipes over good wine.”

I smile, grateful for my new friend, and turn my attention to Rebecca. “What are you doing for Christmas Day again Beck?”

“I’ll be refereeing fights with my dysfunctional family.” She sighs.

We smile as she continues.

“You know, you would think that when your parents get divorced the shit show stops. But no . . . they get new fuckwit partners and you get to have a double shit show with whipped cream and extra topping.”

We all chuckle.

Daniel raises his glass and we both touch it with ours. “To Christmas, the ultimate shit show.”

“To Christmas.”

It’s just gone 11 a.m. and I sit down at my desk with a cup of coffee. My email pings.

Elliot Miles.

Hello Kathryn,

I’d like a meeting with the ITM team please.

All of you in my office in thirty minutes.

Elliot.

“Shoot.” I get up and walk into the office next to mine. “Bob, did you just get the email from Elliot?”

Bob looks up from his computer. “I haven’t checked, hang on.” He opens his email and scrunches up his nose. “Yep.” His eyes come back to me. “You think it’s about the internet crash last week?”

“Of course it is.” I roll my eyes. “I’m not in the mood for this today.”

Bob exhales heavily and then Joel pops his head around the doorjamb. “Did you two get the email?”

“Yep.”

We all stare at each other for a moment. When you get a private email invitation to Elliot Miles’s office, it isn’t for a tea party and cake.

You are about to get in deep shit.

“If he starts on me today, I’m telling him to stick it,” Bob snaps.

“Stick what, exactly,” Joel teases.

“His stupid fucking job up his stupid fucking ass,” Bob replies.

“Yeah, yeah, tough guy,” Joel replies. “You know the drill, just let Kate do the talking.”

Bob nods in agreement.

Wimps.

Great . . . just what I need.

Half an hour later we arrive at the top floor. “Hello.” Courtney smiles. “Just go in, he’s expecting you.”

Bob, Joel, and I exchange glances.

“Great.” I fake a smile, we walk through, and I drop my shoulders and steel myself for his onslaught.

Elliot Miles is a lot of things; weak is not one of those.

Bob knocks on the door. “Come in,” the deep voice calls.

“Fuck this,” Joel whispers.

I smile—it’s actually hilarious how scared the boys are of him.

We walk in to find Elliot sitting behind his desk. He sits back and raises his chin to the sky and I instantly know that stance.

He’s not mad, he’s raging fucking angry.

“You wanted to see us,” I ask.

He points to the conference table with his pen. “Let’s sit over there.”

I exhale.

I hate that fucking table.

He stands and undoes his suit jacket with one hand—he’s wearing a navy suit and a fitted crisp white shirt—takes his jacket off and throws it over the back of his chair, his tight behind on display. As he stands I can see the muscles flex in his shoulder as he pulls his chair out.

Great, just what I need to see—suit porn.

His dark hair is hanging over his forehead and his eyes are a brilliant blue. It would really help my cause if he got a little uglier.

“I want to talk to you about the internet outage last week.” He slaps the printed report on the table in front of us. I’m instantly pulled out of my daydream.

Focus.

“I thought you might,” I mutter under my breath.

“Explain it to me,” he says.

I open my mouth to speak.

“Not you. Joel,” he interrupts.

Joel and Bob exchange nervous glances.

“Well, we had to upload a new system into our admin site and to do this we needed to add a new WAP code.”

Elliot picks up his pen and holds it in his hand as he listens.

“What we didn’t realize was, that when we added the new WAP code it was going to completely override the system for the entire building.”

“Why didn’t you realize that?” Elliot stares at him blankly.

Joel shrugs.

“Isn’t it what I pay you for? An IT expert to stop an impending disaster before it comes to fruition.”