“I haven’t played games. I’ve been completely myself and haven’t held back at all.”

They all wince again.

“This is why I’m never falling in love,” Christopher snaps. “No way in hell am I giving my balls on a platter to a woman.”

Tristan rolls his eyes. “That statement right there is why you aren’t in a relationship. When you love someone, you give them your heart, not your fucking balls, you dipshit.”

Christopher sips his beer. “My wife will be getting my balls, straight down her throat.”

We all chuckle as we take a drink and then we fall silent.

“So . . . what now?” Jay asks.

“I feel like Harriet is destined. I know you all don’t believe in fate. But I do, I always have.”

“Look, I never believed in fate. I always thought that I would meet some beautiful young woman and it would be easy,” Tristan says.

I listen intently.

“And then I met Claire, and everything I thought I wanted went out the window. Her kids hated me and I had to fight tooth and nail to convince her to love me. Never in a million years did I ever imagine my life as it is now. But I honestly believe I am where I’m meant to be. Claire and those kids were meant for me, and the bigger picture of my destiny was already mapped out. They were my family long before I even met them; perhaps before they were even born it was decided that they would end up being mine.”

I exhale, more confused, and I turn to Jay. “What about you?”

“Well.” He shrugs. “I thought Claudia was the love of my life.” He sips his beer. “Turns out she was just keeping me company until Emily came along. Trust me, she isn’t who or what I thought I would end up with either.”

“Would you change it?”

“Not for anything in the world.”

I turn my attention to Christopher.

He holds his hands up in surrender. “Don’t look at me, I’m going undercover to meet my wife. I don’t want no socialite.”

“What?” We all frown.

“One of these days I’m taking a gap year,” Christopher says.

“What does that even mean?” Jameson says.

“I’m going to hand over my credit cards, resign, and grow a beard,” he continues. “Go backpacking for twelve months. A do-over of sorts. I’m going to come back with someone who loves me for me.”

We all burst out laughing.

“You,” I scoff. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. You in a backpacker resort?”

We laugh harder, imagining him there with the ferals and bedbugs. Christopher is accustomed to luxury; he’d die without it.

Jameson’s attention comes back to me. “What are you going to do?”

“I know I can’t live my life with regrets or wondering what if.” I sigh.

“So, you’re going to go to Paris?” Christopher frowns. “Just like that?”

I stay silent, unsure.

“You’re stupid if you fuck this up with Kate,” he snaps. “That she likes you is unbelievable, the fact that she loves you is a fucking miracle.”

My eyes rise to meet his.

“You have something special with her; grab onto it with both hands and don’t let go.”

“Agreed,” Tristan says.

“I think you need to go to Paris.” Jameson sighs. “You need to know, once and for all. Are you really going to live your life wondering what if? Is that fair to Kate to start a relationship with this already hanging over your head?”

My chest tightens as I look at my brothers and I know that there is no right or wrong answer to this.

I’m fucked if I do, and fucked if I don’t.

Chapter 22

KATE

The car pulls to a halt on the tarmac and I look over at Elliot. He’s pensive and staring out of the window. A million miles away.

He’s been quiet for the last few days; it must be hard for him to leave his family.

The driver takes our luggage from the trunk and carries it onto the plane.

“You ready?” Elliot asks, his voice quiet and monotone.

I smile with a nod. “I guess.” I lean up to kiss him and he pecks me quickly and opens the door. “They’re waiting.”

Oh. I exhale; since when does he care if people are waiting for him? I take it he’s not in the mood for kissing, then.

He takes my hand and helps me out of the car and then leads me up the stairs and onto the plane. We take our seats and he stares out of the window, deep in thought.

“I’m going to watch my favorite movie today on the flight.” I smile.

“What’s that?” he asks.

“The Greatest Showman.”

He smiles as if amused and he watches me as he leans back on the headrest. “Why is that your favorite movie?” he asks.

“I don’t know.” I shrug with a smile. “It’s about dreams coming true for the dreamers.”

A frown flashes across his face before he quickly covers it. “Sounds boring.”

“It’s not, you’ll see.”

“I’ll be moving to my desk after takeoff, I have work to do.”

“Oh.”

He takes my hand in his as the plane begins to take off down the runway. “You’ll have to watch it alone.”

I pick up his hand and kiss the back of it. “One day, I’ll strap you down to watch it.”

He chuckles. “Not if I strap you down first.”

I put my head on his shoulder. “El.”

“Yeah, baby?”

“Thank you for taking me to meet your family, they’re more wonderful than I ever expected.”

He nods. “They are.” He falls deep into thought for a moment. “Although if I hear any of them knock twice on anything once more, I may strangle someone.”

I giggle. “Can you believe that—that’s how I met your mother?”

“A lot of unbelievable things have happened this week.” He stares straight ahead, seemingly falling serious.

The plane takes off into the sky and I smile as I stare out of the window. I can’t wait to message Ed and discuss the week.

I get 10 percent of my information from Elliot, and the other 90 percent of his feelings from Ed.

Although, I have to admit, the last two weeks have been a dream come true in Elliot’s arms. I couldn’t ask for a more adoring, tender lover.

Fun, too.

“I wonder how the girls are?” I ask.

A broad smile crosses his face, the first one of the day. “I hope they’ve been guarding the lake as instructed.”