HAYDEN

I sit on the bench seat outside our hostel. I glance at my watch. Where is he? I start work in an hour. He’s usually here by now.

I wait for another ten minutes, and then finally I look up the street and catch sight of him and wave. Big beautiful brown eyes smile back at me. “Hello, Miss Hazen.”

“Hi, Eddie.” I hold my breath. “Did he call?”

Eddie’s face falls, and he shakes his head. “No.”

My heart sinks.

It’s been eight days since Christopher left, and damn it.

I got it wrong.

He’s not coming back.

He stopped calling Eddie four days ago, and now Eddie is just as sad as me.

Which is sad, really sad.

The others all left for Germany on Monday. I couldn’t bring myself to go with them. What if he comes back and I’m not here? Even if it is only to say goodbye.

I hope he’s okay.

The thing is, I know that he cares. I get a lot of things wrong, but I haven’t imagined the feelings between us. All along, I knew he was fucked up. I guess I didn’t realize how badly.

I’ve overanalyzed this until I’ve nearly driven myself insane.

And I’ve come to the only conclusion there is. Maybe my body just wasn’t enough for him. I’ve seen the girls he hooks up with, and I’m not even in their stratosphere. Maybe he got a taste of what I’m not and decided to run for the hills.

The thought is depressing, reality is depressing, and here I am on the other side of the world, and all I want is a hug from my mom.

Eddie walks me to the bus stop, and we wait silently, both lost in our own thoughts.

“What time do you finish work tonight?” he asks me.

“Eight.”

“I can’t pick you up at that time. I’m still working.”

“That’s okay.” I smile and put my arm around my sweet little bouncer. He’s taken Christopher’s place as my personal bodyguard, coming to collect me when I’m working late. “It’s hardly even dark then. I’ll be fine.”

The bus pulls up, and I kiss his cheek. “Thanks for walking me to the bus stop.” I smile. “Have fun at work.”

“I won’t.” He rolls his eyes. “You too.”

“I most definitely won’t either.” I climb on the bus and take a seat and wave as we drive away.

I love Eddie.

Four hours later

I clear up table nine and wipe it down. I collect all the dishes and put them onto the tray, and I turn to go back to the kitchen, and I stop on the spot.

Christopher is standing at the front of the restaurant; his big eyes search mine.

I smile softly, and so does he. He walks toward me, and I put the tray of plates down and walk toward him.

“Hi,” he whispers as he takes me into his arms.

Emotion overwhelms me. “Took your sweet time,” I whisper.

“Trust me, it was anything but sweet.” He kisses me softly, and his lips linger over mine.

“What have you got to say for yourself?”

He gives me a big beautiful smile. “Let’s fucking do this.”

Chapter 15

He takes my face in his hands and kisses me, a mix of relief and happiness with a perfect swipe of the tongue. We smile against each other’s lips, and we kiss again and again. “Are you okay?” I whisper.

“I am now.” He kisses me again.

“That was your first and last chance,” I murmur.

“Fair call.” His kiss deepens, and we forget where we are.

“Hey,” my boss calls. “She’s working.”

“I’ve got to go.” I smile as I try to step back.

Christopher holds my face to his as if unable to let me go. “Not yet.” He kisses me again, and I feel it to my bones. “What time do you finish?”

“Eight.”

“I’ll pick you up?”

“Okay.” I step back from him.

“We’ll go on a date?” he asks hopefully.

I smile. “Okay.”

“Okay,” he repeats as he stares at me. “Okay . . .” He nods as if reassuring himself.

“You said that already.”

“Okay.” He frowns. “I did, didn’t I?” He steps backward into the cutlery stand. “Sorry,” he says to it before realizing it isn’t a person. He chuckles, embarrassed. “Eight?”

He’s nervous.

“Okay.” I laugh.

“That’s lots of okays,” he replies.

“Will you two knock it off?” my boss calls.

Christopher’s eyes hold mine, and I smile an over-the-top smile. “See you tonight.”

He turns and nearly skips out of the restaurant, and I proudly spin toward the kitchen.

He came back.

CHRISTOPHER

I walk at a quick pace down the street and glance at my watch. Four p.m.

Fuck.

I only have four hours.

“Where the fuck do you take a girl on a date to?” I think for a moment and then dial the only romantic person I know, Elliot.

“How’d you do?” he answers.

“She was surprisingly . . . forgiving.”

He laughs. “Good news.”

“I told her we’d go on a date tonight.”

“Good idea.”

“Was it?” I frown. “Because right now, romance is the last thing on my fucking mind.”

“Hmm. You need to get through the date part to get to the good part.”

“No shit, Sherlock,” I snap. “I’ve got four hours to prepare so I can blow her socks off. What the fuck do I do?”

“Okay . . . um.” He thinks for a moment. “What do you want to do?”

“Not spend our first night in a shitty shared room, that’s for sure.”

“Book a hotel room.”

“She thinks I’m broke.”

“Tell her . . .” He thinks for a moment. “Tell her that your grandfather knows the owner and has some free-night coupons that he will never get to use, so he gave them to you.”

“Actually”—I nod as his plan rolls around in my head—“that’s not bad.”

“Then take her out for dinner.”

“Uh-huh.”

“But don’t drink too much, or else you will fuck up while having sex.”

I frown. “Define fuck up?”

“Be too rough.”

“That’s a fucking thing?” I gasp, horrified.

“Yes. That’s a thing. Nice girls who haven’t had sex in forever don’t fuck like you do. You need to train her up. Gentle and easy the first few rounds.”

“What?” I shriek. I’m so distracted that I bump into an old lady walking past. “I’m so sorry,” I call as I watch her hobble away.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“Knocking over grannies. What do you fucking mean, gentle and easy? How do you fuck gentle and easy, and more importantly, why would anyone want to?” I begin to sweat. “I’m going to screw this up for sure.”

“It’s fine.”

I begin to freak out. “I don’t . . . this is a bad idea . . . I don’t know why. What the fuck was I thinking?” I cry.

“Calm down.”

“Calm down.” My eyes nearly pop from my head. “Calm down? You calm the fuck down,” I cry. “This is a disaster.”

“I’ll book a hotel for you.”

“Okay.” I stop on the spot and begin to pace. I inhale deeply as I try to calm myself. “Something nice . . . with a spa.”

“All right, I’ll text you the address.”

I imagine being naked in a spa bath with Hayden, and nerves simmer in my stomach.

Fuck.

I stop on the spot, the importance of this night suddenly now more evident than ever.

As if sensing my impending meltdown, Elliot says calmly, “It’s okay, buddy. You’ve got this. Just stay out of your head, and you’ll be fine.”

I nod.

“Don’t even think about it. I’ll text you the address of the hotel. Pack an overnight bag and go and pick her up from work like normal, and you’ll be fine.”

“Okay.” I nod. He’s right.

“Maybe swing past a pharmacy and pick up some lube.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose.

“Are you listening?”

“Yes,” I spit. “I’m not having this conversation with you.” I hang up in a rush.

I march up the stairs of the hostel and walk straight to my locker. I get out the gift I bought for Eddie. I’ve missed that little fucker.

I walk out to the bar area. He’s serving up the other end and doesn’t notice me. I slink onto a stool. He drifts in and out of languages like a pro, and I watch in awe. He turns and notices me, and his face lights up, and my stomach does a flip.

I frown. What was that?

“Hey.” He smiles.

“My man.” I laugh.