"So this is my contact..." Nia said, typing her number into Beauty's phone.

Just then, someone clicked a wine glass with a fork to grab everyone's attention. The room fell silent as all eyes turned toward the podium.

Beyoncé stood on the podium, smiling forcefully like a beauty pageant contestant.

"Good evening, everyone! It's truly wonderful to see so many familiar faces here tonight. Welcome to Prestige High School Reunion, Class of 2014!"

The crowd erupted in ...