I lived off of that cute little nickname for a good five minutes, letting the pleasure wash over me as I imagined myself as Bambi with the big eyes. Then I wondered if he saw me as an adorable little kid and let that gnaw away at me for the next five. I need a life. These last few weeks of inertia have taken their toll, obviously, and my brain has been turned into mush.

We drove around in silence for the next little while, and I don’t think I breathed even once in that time. And ...