Penance, it has got to be. I can't come up with any other reason for me to be dealing with this mess right now. I've always prided myself on being at the top of my game in any given situation, but this shit has thrown me for a loop. For what has got to be the first time in my adult life, I find myself in a situation that I'm not completely in control of.

Right now, I should be focused on the job; nothing is more important than that, at least there didn't used to be. But now, even ...