"I've got the greatest collection of stupid bumper stickers and stuff," John Wayne said. "You wouldn't believe the stupid things people think they can say if they think they're being funny." He shook his head. "How can you have an intelligent conversation with someone if they only talk in one liners?"

Marilyn and I looked at each other. Ne raised an eyebrow and I responded with a microscopic shrug. We didn't know where this thoughtful John Wayne had appeared from, but it was welcome. ...