Even though I was training hard, I still felt a little bit unhappy and no freedom at all. I kept thinking of my mom. What must she be going through right now because I haven't been able to talk to her? She must hate all these people, but she's powerless to do anything.

I didn't even want to have any contact with her in case she was targeted by them. I don't want them to use her to threaten me into giving in. I know when people are desperate and what they can do. I do not want my mom to be ...