The double doors to the cafeteria are almost completely blocked. I can't believe how many people are already in lines and sitting at tables. I'll likely have a panic attack before I get a chance to eat anything. Making matters worse, the noise in here is ear piercing. Amazingly, I'm able to make my way to the vending machines in the back without being elbowed in the ribs and spot an empty table in a corner.

Placing my Diet Coke and Snickers on a napkin, I'm about to take a ...