Antalya, are you there?" Vaiker's voice came through the phone, sounding worried and urgent.

I held the phone to my ear but couldn't find my voice. Hearing him again after everything that had happened brought back a flood of complicated emotions. Part of me felt anger, part confusion, and part of me just felt tired.

"Please, just talk to me," he continued when I didn't respond. "I need to know you're okay."

"I'm..." I started, then stopped. Am I okay? What does that even mean ...