A long soak was all it took to get me on my feet again. Lil was right, being clean made me aware of how horrified I smelled before. I felt refreshed and alive after I was done, my stomach rumbling loudly. A reminder that I missed breakfast. I shook my head, vowing to not let myself go off track next time. Lil munched happily on my bed, her eyes reverted to the television.

For the first time today, I took in her appearance.

Her looks were always impeccable, but today, she put in alot of effort. She wore a peach body con dress that did a good job showcasing her curves. Her makeup was pristine, flawlessly applied to highlight her beauty.

Overall, she looked good.

I briefly set aside thoughts for my hunt to assuage curiosity.

"You look great Lil?" I probed. I don't know if I imagined the slight stiffing of her shoulders.

"Uh, yeah, thanks". She replied awkwardly.

"Sorry I've been so absent lately. I mean, I guess I let the whole thing consume me".

She cocked one of her eyebrows, pointedly looking at me. "You guess?".

Huffing, I threw my hand in the air. "Fine. I let myself get carried away with the whole thing," I admit.

She still did not look away. Rather, her stare intensified like she was trying to gauge my sincerity. Pointedly, she asked, "I hope you've dropped this crazy pastime?".

"How is Blake?". I ask, in an effort to divert her attention from the topic. LIla could be like a dog with a bone once it comes to sussing out information. Relentless till she gets what she wants, but this time around I am the curious one as she clamps up immediately, turning back to the television.

"I wouldn't know". She says, shrugging, her voice high-pitched. "Aren't you like the one he likes or something? You are better suited to answering your own question".

I raised my eyebrows, surprised by the bitter note in her voice. Something was definitely up. First, she took a defensive stance when I asked about her date, allowing me to change the topic of conversation. It was something that broke character for lila. And now this.

"Okay what is going on here?" I questioned, done with her mood swings. She stayed silent for a while, long enough for me to wonder if I would get a reply of some kind. Was she still mad about how distant we've been in the past few months or was it something else entirely?

I did not have to wonder for long.

"Fuck it!". She shouted, shoving the snacks she was eating aside to give me her full attention. The determined look in her face almost gave me pause, but I steeled myself, ready to hear what had riled her up.

"I love Blake". She declared with passion. I opened my mouth to say something, and she held up her hand, not yet finished. "All this time, in high school where he would come to see you made me angry. I mean I knew him years before you met. I was the one that introduced you two, and I know you are my friend, but I couldn't understand what he saw in you that made him like you over me".

I flinched, not expecting her words.

"Since you met, it's always been about you. He just doesn't know how to shut up when it comes to you. "I have asked him out on more than one occasion, but do you know what he did?". She cried, her eyes shinning with tears as she answered her own question. "He laughed, he fucking laughed in my face. I have been there, and he barely noticed me, but the moment he sees you, he doesn't just stop talking about you. I mean it's always 'Darra this. Darra that', I just can't fucking hear myself think. But you know what?". She sniffed, tears tracking down her trembling chin.

"I still love him". She confessed, sounding small. "I have never stopped loving him. He might be a dick sometimes, but I loved him like that. Flaws and all. To see you yarp on and on about whether you should accept his advances hurt my chest. On top of how he unashamedly asked you out regardless of how many times you turned him down".

"So¬". She looked at me dead center, a cruel glint in her eyes. "I took the decision from your hands. I slept with him constantly, happy to satisfy his needs as far as I had a part of him. But,". She sniffed, "You know what, I got tired of having scraps, so I made efforts to get him all to myself". She laughed, the sound cruel and jaded." Since I am being honest, I was with him last night and the night before that, I came here with his cum still warm between my legs ". She smiled at the look of disbelief I wore, getting satisfaction from reading the expression on my face. I was still shocked by the deliberate cruelty she showed today. Obviously, she's come to hurt me, but not in the way she thought. LIl gathered her things, adjusting her short dress languidly. She wiped the smudge of mascara on her cheeks and strode for the door. Stopping by the doorway, she turned, still eyeing my slack-jawed expression.

"If you still want to be friends, call me. But you should know I am not giving him up. Besides, I am already pregnant with him".

With that, she left the room, leaving me floundering for words. After a long while, my thoughts were wondering about my pastime for the past two months. If only there was a way to use myself as bait. Scrambling to the table, a crazy plan was pieced together in my head. If trying to find him was impossible, then I was going to make him find me.