I scan my phone contacts looking for a badge bunny. I'm sitting on my couch with my feet kicked up on the coffee table, beer resting on the table within reach. It's a little after five in the evening and I've been home for an hour. This is what my life's come to. I want a steady relationship and my next door neighbor has me so horny I'm sinking just about as low as I can go. My conviction to settle down and have the two point four children is out the window. I need to get my rocks ...