Lincoln

Dinner with my publicist went like expected. She asked why I was screwing my new assistant, who also happened to be underage, and according to Twitter, a charity case.

I told her why, and that I'd broken things off...

She heaved a sigh. "Well, that was stupid. Think of what it could do for your image. Hollywood heartthrob obsessed with mute girl? Damn, don't be stupid. Marry the girl."

Offended, I'd only been able to eat a few bites of my pulled ...