I have never cried when I lose something.

At the age of twelve, my family dog died. I grew up with that dog; it was far older than me so it died of old age.

We had a small funeral for it. It was a close companion of my parents and supposedly, my older brother as well.

Maybe that's why they shed a lot of tears that day. As for me, I was old enough to understand what was going on.

I grew up with that dog, when I was lonely, I played with it everyday. I suppose I was attached to it, I had grown up with it, after all.

But on that day.

That day that my brother cried till he got a fever.

That day the house was drowning in sadness.

That day the sound of barking ceased.

I didn't shed a single tear, nor did I feel sad. Though, I was a little bummed that big brother fell ill when he promised to play with me.

I have never cried when I lose something.

Not even when it's the life of someone close to me.

What stimulates people to shed tears over things that are gone?

Things like that confuses me sometimes, no matter how many times I read about it.

Over time, don't you forget about such people?

Humans continue to leave their lives even when a neighbor next door drops dead.

But… what if it wasn't a neighbor next door.

If it was someone closer…

Closer than that dog that died when I was twelve.

Closer than my grandparents who passed away as I got older.

Closer than that kid in kindergarten who passed away…

Would I feel anything?

Would I shed a tear at least?

….

“Miss Bett.”

“Miss Bett, can you hear me?”

I feel… drowsy.

Light shone into my eyes as I opened them, I closed them back again.

The lights were blinding, too blinding.

I tried to move my head but it was so heavy and there was a ringing sound in the air.

What was that?

I don't remember setting any alarm in my bedroom.

I stretched my arm, feeling for the alarm clock to turn it off.

“Miss Bett!” 

Who is that?

The person was so loud.

My fingers couldn't find the alarm clock. The ringing in the air faded slowly before I started to realized it wasn't an alarm clock.

Was I not in my room?

“Miss Sophia Bett!” 

I jolted up, with my eyes wide open. “Who… ahhh”

I immediately regretted that decision as I was assaulted with pains all over my body.

I gritted my teeth as my eyes adjusted to the light.

There were people dressed in lab coats before my eyes- up to 3 of them?

Labcoats?

Are they doctors?

Wait! Where am I?

My throat felt dry. I coughed out a few times as I sat up.

“Arghh!”

I tried to, but another pain spread through my body and I couldn't move.

One of the doctors held me down to stop me from moving.

“Miss Bett, you're badly injured. You can't move right now.”

I stared at the doctors with my eyes wide with confusing.

“Why am I in the hospital? What happened?”

The doctors exchanged glances, now that I think back, maybe at that time, they were wondering how to break things to me.

“Miss Bett, you were involved in a car accident.”

“Car accident?” My eyebrow were furrowed. “What are you talking about?”

I remembered having a discussion with my parents. I think we were moving…

I didn't remember if we were in a car or at home. I just… remembered their voices.

“Hold Sophia, cover our daughter!”

“Bang!!”

I flinched as voices rang out in my head.

What was that just now?

“A car accident?” I looked up. “Were there other casualties?”

“The occupants of the car that hit you are awake but with some minor injuries.”

I couldn't remember what happened but if I was in a car then…

“What about my driver?”

“She got a hit to the head and was rushed for an emergency surgery, she's out of danger.”

Hah…

I sighed in relief and leaned back on the bed.

Then I saw their awkward expressions. “My parents are safe?” I asked.

The doctor that has been talking, closed him eyes. 

He wasn't the family doctor but was close to him.

On my mother's regular checkup, he was introduced as someone under my family's doctor.

“Don't hide anything from me.”

He exhaled. “Your parents suffered from severe injuries and are in a coma, they… wait, Miss Bett, where are you going?”

A coma? Mom and Dad?

Because of a stupid car accident?!

I was already climbing down the bed as soon as I heard that, but before I could stand, I fell.

Heavily at that.

The feeling of numbness was present. I tried to move my legs but it didn't respond. All I felt was silence in my legs.

My pupils shook. “What…”

I didn't register the other pain spreading in my body.

Nor my hand that was bleeding as the IV fluid got detached.

But my voice was calm as I looked up at the doctor who squatted in front of me. 

“Doctor, I can't feel my legs.” Hearing myself, I sounded calm as if observing the weather. “They are not moving. I tried… but nothing.”

“Miss Bett.” The doctor's expression was that of concern.

I noticed then, that the other doctors were gone.

The doctor carried me back to the bed as I stared at my legs.

“Did the accident affect my legs? Am I going to be crippled.” I shook my head. “No, there's no time for this. Where are my parents, I want to see them.”

The doctor reeled back in surprised. “Miss Bett, maybe you need time to take things in.”

“No, I'm fine. My legs can wait.” I stared at him, determined. “Let me see my parents, they are in a more critical condition than I am.”

The doctor paused as he stared at me, dumbfounded. I didn't care though. If my legs couldn't work, I could get a wheelchair, it would be inconvenient but at least I was still breathing.

“Doctor, are you listening to me?”

“Arhh, yes!” He hurried to bring a wheelchair and helped her to sit. “Doctor Quin has already informed the young master.”

I looked ahead as he pushed me out of the ward. “I suppose he will rushing back now. How long have I been asleep?”

“For about 63 hours.”

Breaking news! It has been two days since the tragic car accident involving the Bett Conglomerate family and…

The big television in the hospital was broadcasting the scene from the car accident.

My eyes saw the scene and several memories came flooding in.

Then I blinked, they were gone.

“When did you contact my brother?”

“Immediately you came in, Miss Bett.”

The doctor stopped in front of a door. “It's here, Miss Bett.”

“Doctor, what's your name?”

“Aghh. Oliver.”

“Doctor Oliver, can I make a phone call before I go in?”

“Oh, yes.” He handed his phone to me.

Few minutes later, when the phone call was done, I looked at him. “Thank you, let's go in.”

I have never cried or felt sadness when I lose something. 

Not when that dog died.

Nor when my grandfather died.

Not when I didn't feel my legs anymore.

Not even when I saw my mother and father lying motionless before my eyes.

I sat on the wheelchair feeling nothing, but wondering when my brother would arrive.

Everything was silent.

Too silent.

Just the sound of the beeping heart monitors, reminding me that they are still breathing.

Now I just accept it- some people cry.

They feel sadness.

They grieve.

I go quiet.