Madeline

“Were they really killed?” She asked me. I simply nodded. “I am so sorry.” She said and tried to put a hand on my shoulder but stopped. “Were you crying?” She asked me again. I wiped away a tear which was making its way down to my cheek. Then I told her everything that was going on in my house. Maybe, I could use a friend. She didn’t sound like someone bad or someone who could use me. How can she use me? I guess in no way I can be used, I have nothing with me that she could use me for.

After me telling her everything, she simply said, “I have this bakery of my mother. If you want you could come and help there. I think we can help you in that way. Then you will have a job to keep up and I will ask mom to brink our doctor to your house. Then you can get your mom checked.” Listening to her kind words. The words that gave me encouragement. Encouragement to move forward and that someone is out there to help me. That the goodness in people is not gone completely. Not everyone is like our town people, mean and controlling. God! I really hated it in that town. “That sounds good to me.” I told her and then we both decided to walk to our own homes. She also told me that tomorrow she and her mother would visit us.

I got home and heard mom yelling. “Did you lock me in? Madeline?” Oh fuck! I had forgotten. I ran upstairs to my mother’s room and unlocked it. The first greeting I got was a slap. Maybe I deserved it. My mother never hit me before. Like ever. But she did it today. Looks like I have really wronged her then. She said nothing and went downstairs. She did not even let me help her prepare the food. She was that angry at me.

“Mom, our neighbours are coming to visit us tomorrow.” I said while eating my dinner. “So, that’s where you went to after locking your mother in? Am I your mother or some lunatic person?” I felt very ashamed. Sometimes you just end up doing things that felt right to you at the minute but was very wrong in reality. Like this one, if I would have thought how mom would react, would I have done that then? Nope! Never. Lesson learned.

“They are willing to give me a job at their bakery.” I also said. “Did you agree to it? Did you give them a solid yes answer?” She asked me. Getting furious at me. “I kinda, um yes mom I did.” I told her. Lying would not have helped at all. “Brilliant! Imagine your father finding out that you are doing things on your own without someone’s, without your own mother’s guidance. Listen child, it doesn’t matter how old you’ll get I will always be your mother and I have right to ask of you to let me know before making any hasty decision. Especially when it comes to our household.” With that she took her food and finished it in the living room.

Oh god! Why did I not think that she would get furious at me. Why did I even do that? Maybe after seeing her last encounter with running water is what led me do that to her. Oh! Also, I forgot to let her know that they are going to be bringing a doctor with them. What if she refuses to get checked? What would I do then? Should I let her know? Maybe tomorrow. Today was enough of a mess for me. Dad. Dad, only if you were here to help me get out of all this.

As I was making my way to my own room, I saw the light coming from the living room. It was perfectly lit by candles. Her plate was on the table and she was sobbing. She was holding something in her hand. When I got a little closer. It was a portrait of my dad. He looked young. Maybe she found it in this room somewhere. She was looking at him and sobbing. I miss you so very much. I love you. Why’d you leave me so early? We didn’t fight them for this to happen, did we? I heard her talk to herself.

Before I would have started crying myself. I made my way to my room. It felt strange because this room was bigger than my room in which I have lived my entire life. It is almost laughable at how quickly just one single event can disrupt your life entirely. I am not sure as to what I should be doing next in my life. Should I let her know that I have been hearing voices coming from the ocean? The sound of the waves get louder and louder when that happens. I shook my head. I’ll let her know about that later. Tomorrow perhaps.

With those thoughts ending there. I covered my face with blanket and hid underneath it. Hopefully, I will not hear those voices tonight.

Sleep took over me quickly.

I have been waiting for you, Madeline. I am your own. I am you and you are me.

“What are you talking about? Who are you?” I asked whoever it was. I heard a chuckle.

My darling, come and find out for yourself.

“How do I know if I can trust you?” I asked.

Your mother trusted me. I was with her. I am with her. But she refuses to acknowledge me. She refuses to accept that I exist.

“Who are you exactly? Why can I not see you?” I asked her quickly. The sound of waves were very fierce. They were sounding like something that was very deadly. Like a tsunami. She went silent. This voice. It was like a lady’s voice. She was talking in riddles and I didn’t know how to answer them. “Who are you?” I asked again.

Shhh. Just listen.

I did. It sounded like ocean. Maybe she was ocean. Maybe she lived near ocean. Maybe she was a spirit. “Are you dead?” I asked her. She again chuckled.

You never listen child, do you?

Now I was getting frustrated. I asked her almost yelling. “Stop it. Stop talking to me! I don’t want to talk to you. I want nothing from you. Please let me live. Leave me alone.” I said. The voice came back in a very haunting way. It was accompanied by loud water sound following it. Almost wrapping it.

I will never leave you. You are mine. I will take what’s mine.

I was slapped. I opened my eyes and found mom almost panicking. I looked around. I was so close to the water. I could feel the waves touching my feet. The sand slipping under my feet. “Did I walk in my sleep?” I asked her. “Walk? You were almost about to kill yourself by walking right into her.” Mom said agitated.

Her?