171. The Space Between Them

Nova

I arrive twenty-three minutes early and I did it on purpose because I need to calm my nerves.

I know because I count the seconds between my steps from the subway exit to the café door, because counting gives my hands something to do besides shake. Because being early feels like control, and control is the only thing keeping me upright right now.

The café is warm and muted. Low music. The smell of ground coffee and milk foam and something sweet I can’t ...