Chapter 004

Clarissa's Point of View

Clarissa lay in bed, her eyes wide open. She was not going to sleep, not with the storm in her chest. Her thoughts were racing. She had heard that the only means of being free of the mate bond was to renounce her mate.

Adrian had done it, and it was the reason why he had no relation to Avery, his mate whom he had rejected. But it was not so with Avery. She would not allow him to go, despite his rejection of her time and again. It caused Clarissa to wonder--what was so special about Adrian?

Maybe that was the reason she could not rest. She was aware that she had to renounce her mate as well, in order to be free of the tie that was pulling at her heart. She was being tugged in opposite directions by her wolf, Viola. It wasn’t easy to ignore her. Viola was not generally talkative, but now she was pressing Clarissa to go to him, to yield to the attachment.

But Clarissa couldn’t. She was aware of the cost of making a sacrifice. She would feel the loss, the pain of refusing her mate. Viola would be devastated. But it was the only way, was it? She could not risk letting down her father and this marriage to Adrian was not something she could turn back.

Clarissa heard her stomach rumbling and she was hungry. She resolved to eat dinner, but when the plate was set before her the appetite disappeared. She could not eat, as though she could not eat. She was unable to concentrate on anything but the lycan. It was all-consuming.

What if he was at the boundary? But even had he been, Clarissa knew that she could do nothing about it. There were some of the warriors. She could not allow anyone to discover that she had been mated to a lycan. The idea terrified her.

Then she considered the neutral grounds. Her eyes lit up. It was the right place to see him. It was well out of the way of both packs, and not many ever went through. It was the only place she would not be followed, where nobody would know. She did not know whether he would be there or not, but she had to attempt. Another night of thinking about him was too much.

The moon was already up. Her father and his luna were asleep in bed, and her brother, the lazy one, slept. Clarissa had the ideal moment to sneak out. She slipped to her door, but when she opened it she recalled the warriors at the gates. How would she get past them?

A smile formed on her lips. She was Zara, after all. Who could stop her?

But as she went out she was met with a sudden difficulty--Adrian stood at the gate. Of course, he was. He had the security, but he did not have to be at the gate, not to-night. But there he was, gazing at her with a curious and a worried expression.

Where do you go at this time of the day, Clarissa? Adrian inquired, with a wary voice.

Clarissa smiled, and she was trying to conceal her discomfort. I believe I slept too long, and now I have to compensate it with some physical activity.

“Why outside the gates?” Adrian asked, apparently not believing her excuse. It is not safe out there, Clarissa, it is not safe out there, especially to-night. We have already shot two lycans and I do not know whether they will survive the poison of our arrows. Crocodiles killed a lycan, too, in your presence today. That is three pack losses. They will be bloodthirsty, and I do not wish anything to become of you.

Clarissa laughed in an attempt to conceal her discomfort. “Thanks for the concern, Adrian. You are making it sound like I am a damsel in distress. Need I remind you that I’m Zara? I’m not afraid of the lycans. They ought to fear me, particularly with my bow and arrows.

Adrian said nothing, he could not answer. Clarissa was aware that she had silenced him. She asked the warrior to open the gates and he did so reluctantly. Adrian did not move, but stood and stared at her as she ran out of the gates. Clarissa was aware that she could not rely on him to release her so readily, and so she cowered behind a corner and waited.

Adrian did follow her, all right. He ran behind her, and Clarissa stood and watched him, cowering in the foliage until he was gone. With a sigh of relief, she turned and he left. She did not think that Adrian would give up so readily, and she turned another corner, going down a side street.

Clarissa strained herself, running more quickly than she had never run before. She had to get to the neutral grounds as fast as possible. She did not know whether she was attempting to get out of her mind or she was simply desperate to see him again. Either way, she kept running.

Two hours later she was on the neutral grounds, far sooner than she had supposed. Had werewolves not been endowed with night sight, she would have been lost. But the moonlight shining on the way, she arrived there safe. It was a beautiful picture, the mountains shining in the night sky. It was quiet, and a moment Clarissa stood there admiring the view.

But the smile quickly faded. She had come to see him, to send him away. Now that she was here, it was stupid. Why would he be here? He was likely away somewhere, gone to her forever.

Clarissa sat on a hill, her head in a mess. What would she do with the rest of her life with Adrian when she knew that she had turned her back on her real mate? It was the sole means, but could she live with it?

The owls were hooting, and the wind was in the trees. It was so quiet, so still. It left her lonely, and yet she could not get rid of the impression that she was not.

And then, she smelled it. The scent again. The one she could not get out of her mind. Initially, she believed that it was in her imagination but then she heard a voice.

“You came too?” It was a low, dark, familiar voice.

Clarissa felt her heart beat skip a beat as she turned slowly around. The lycan stood there in the moonlight.

Was this really happening?