There are surely moments in life—or afterlife, in my case—where people have life-changing epiphanies. Post make-up sex with my husband, I had one such moment. He had said we had to embrace the monsters since that was the only way we would ever learn from them …

I bathed carefully, soaking in my tub and thinking about things I had not wanted to admit to myself. I replayed Paul's words in my head, finding truth in them.

I dressed and told Paul that I had some ...