I know this is not easy but I never thought it would be this hard. Damn. I knew it. I fucking knew it! I feel like I’m slapped by cold ice. It’s shameful. He knows. He knows what I’m trying to do but he didn’t make it clear.

For sure he doesn’t know the purpose of it all. He just knew that I’m trying to hold him on the neck so I can do whatever that I want, right? Or does he know all along?

I palmed my face while I’m at my room.  Now I’m torn. The child-like attitude ...