Shawna

I let the beat of Alessia Cara's Stay overwhelm me.

My body moves to the new rhythm as I try and remember the steps I created in my head last night when I went to sleep. I round my neck slowly as the song begins and just as her voice fills the room, my hips circle moving quickly into each notion. The beat quickens and I lean my body into different forms.

Ten minutes later I lay on the floor in a sweaty mess as the song goes on and on. I tap my chin with my finger thinking of how much better this dance would be if I had a male partner. I have to look into where and when I would have to most likely host auditions.

I hear footsteps coming up the stairs and it aligns with the occasional thump. I smile thinking of Miss O'Neal walking up here to tell me to cut off the 'rap music'. She hits the last step then switches the iPod player off.

"You know, you should be resting that foot of yours." I yell out with my eyes still closed.

"I could same the same thing to you little missy. Are you even allowed to be doing this?"

"The doctor might have said something about keeping off of it for a while but honestly, I think she was just jealous I could still do this at my old age." I smile then look over to see Miss O'Neal has a serious look on her face.

It's been one week since everything happened with Julian. One week of recovery for both Max and me. One week of nightmares about me killing a man, and one week of dealing with paperwork after paperwork for Timmons. We got some insight on everything about Julian. Turns out Max was right when it came to him not knowing about Ellen and Emma, something I thank God for.

Max and I went straight to the hospital where I was treated for bruises and some small lacerations to my wrists and ankles. I was out the next night while Max was there for almost two days. He had a broken rib, a light concussion and some major bruising to his face. The doctor put him on driving restrictions, something he hates since he can't ride with me on the back of his bike.

Being in the hospital together, Max and I were able to talk and I found out everything that he went through after we broke up. I never got the chance to tell him about the studio or why I had to take wo jobs, but since he has been through so much and we still found our way back to each other, I don't see the reason to tell him now. I would do what I had to do, and in the end, as long as we were together, I was happy. It was enough for me.

"Here let me help you." I stand up and walk over to miss O'Neal who is steadily trying to slowly sit down on one of the chairs.

The missing Miss O'Neal case was summed up rather quickly when someone found her in the alley of the grocery store. Turns out she had fallen and hurt herself and it took someone a few hours to find her. By then, her leg was pretty messed up and she was getting hypothermia from the cold. She was in a hospital upstate for three days and hated every minute of it. What she really hates is that Max has one of prospects constantly at her beck and call. Something I find hilarious.

"Sit girl, we need to talk." I move over to grab another chair and waddle back over to her.

Having already had problems with my ankle I was pretty upset to hear that I most likely needed surgery on it to completely fix it. Between the attacks from Julian and dancing knowing I had a bad ankle, only caused more damage. I hated it because the surgery was something I couldn't afford. I just thank God Max wasn't in the room with me when they gave me the third degree for never taking care of it two years ago. Being in that prison cell with Julian and having him tie me to that chair, certainly didn't help the pain either, but I still get by.

"What did you want to talk about?" I ask her getting worried.

"There's a buyer Shawna. You can't keep coming in here like this honey." My heart falls out of my chest as she finishes telling me that they will be here today to sign over the papers.

I knew it was a posibility that this could happen, hell it's been two years and I barely have half the money. If Austin and the Warriors hadn't paid for my medical bills, something he got an earful from me about, then I would have had to practically start all over.

Last night was my first night back at work and I went into May's smiling when I saw not only had Inette stopped by to see me, but Ivan, Candice, Lyla and Abby were all there as well. Ivan left after two minutes of too much girl talk, but the others stayed nearly my entire shift. I may or may not have a recording of them drunk off their ass while Austin, Shane, Chance and Torque came and picked them up. Not only had Shane intrigued me when he was being all gentle with Lyla, but Chance and Abby threw me off as well.

"I guess I can't be surprised. It took a couple of years but with this location it's a prime spot. What's the tool going to turn it into, a coffee bean or something?"

"Don't know, but you should know, everything you put yourself through for the last two years? It wasn't a waste honey. You showed a good heart and determination and you should be proud of that alone." I smile, thinking of how much I adore this old woman. She was there for me when I had no family to rely on and I don't know where I would have been without her.

"Why Miss O'Neal, I do think you're complimenting me." I say in a southern drawl and bat my eyelashes at her.

Miss O'Neal stands up and waves her hand at me, using her cane to steady the rest of her body. She hates the damn thing but I constantly tell her if just makes her look like a gangster. I like to think it helps.

I grab my water bottle and towel, looking out at the windows that see out past the buildings. I hate that I have to say goodbye to this place, but I had prepared myself for this very thing happening. Miss O'Neal is right, I should be proud of myself. There will always be more opportunity. I won't give up now, it's more of a dream deterred is all. This would be my prime opportunity, but that doesn't mean I could never teach dance again.

I begin heading out the same exit Miss O'Neal went out of, but stop in my tracks when I see Max standing there leaning against the side wall. His arms are crossed and one foot is leaning up against the wall. He looks like a GQ model and I want to jump on him and lick every inch of skin.

Jesus Shawna, horny much?

"Max? What are you doing here?" Seeing him in here, feels a little uncomfortable. I'm sure he can see that the place hasn't been used in years. There are a few boards along the sides of the window and the lights are off.

"I thought you had work today?" Max started working at the shop again. He's a master at building custom bikes and it makes the club some good money. He had told me that after everything happened last year with Candice, he felt as if he couldn't concentrate anymore. It made sense to me, with everything going on in the last few weeks, I found it hard coming here this morning and working on a new routine. Couldn't shut off my mind.

"Thought I would surprise you. Heard you were getting some bad news." I walk over to him and walk right into his arms.

Max holds me tightly and inhale the deep scent of cologne and leather. The smell makes me crazy for him. I feel his chuckle vibrate my face and look up to his bright blue eyes. It's been a while since I've seen his face so carefree and easy going smile. He looks more calm and no longer troubled by the ghosts of his past. I know he felt horrible for what happened with Robert, and I think deep down, feels just as bad for Julian, but he's getting better, and that's all any of us could have asked for.

"Did you just sniff me?"

"If I said yes, would that make you change your cologne?"

"No."

"The yes." I smile then rest my cheek against his chest once more.

"I've actually got something I think could cheer you up."

"Mmm, I was going to shower but maybe this surprise will actually require me to be dirty?"

"Naughty girl. You know what those kind of word to do me." I reach up, clasping my hands around his neck and lean in for my kiss. His lips match mine and he brings his arms around to cup my ass, making the kiss become deeper. Max ends the kiss far too quickly for my liking and lets go of me.

"Before, we get dirty, I think we need to talk about something."

"Okay¡­." Max walks over the far side of the room and runs his hands along the counter where the students could wash up after each practice routine.

I watch him then walk over to the wall of mirrors that go along the side of the room until the edge where the view of the outside is. The view is one big reason I wanted this location. It's not too far from the city and when it's early enough in the morning the fog leads away from the buildings and lets in the sunshine. It's gorgeous in the right setting and inspires me to dance.

"Why didn't you tell me about the studio Shawna?" Shock must register across my face because no words come out of my mouth as Max moves closer to my side. "I mean, I would have done everything in my power to make sure you were paid back. I would have never wanted you to have to do it all by yourself. It wasn't your mess Shawna, it was mine. Wasn't it?"

My throat closes as I nod my head and think back on the terrible night two years ago that took everything from me.

Two Years Ago

"Shawna, there is a man here to see you. He seems pretty irate." I walk over to my assistant, Cynthia, and give her a confused look.

Why would some angry person come to see me? I'm adorable.

"What's he look like?" I ask, hoping it isn't one of the fathers of the students I have. I usually get the whole 'my daughter is perfect so why isn't she your star for the show?' from the mothers but I suppose a father has every right to assume his six year old daughter can't be anything less than perfect.

"Hot. Blonde hair, blue eyes. Had some kind of leather vest thing on. He looked a little drunk to be honest. You know him?"

Apprehension fills my mind as I think of Max outside waiting on me to no doubt fight with him once again. He's been back now for two weeks and ever since he got back, he's been different. I've tried to get him to talk to me, but all keeps telling me is that he is fine. He won't touch me, he won't make love to me, he will barely kiss me. I've read the books and articles about letting your spouse return back to civilization at his own pace, but this feels different. The first time he went on tour and came back, he was the same care free happy go lucky Max. This time, he is none of those things.

"Yeah, I think so. I'll let the kids out the back entrance if you want to tell the parents to meet them there. That way we can discuss the upcoming show."

"You got it. After that, you mind if I take off? It's Martin's birthday and I might still be able to catch him before he zooms off to work."

I've had Cynthia for a few months now and love how passionate she is for all things dance. She and her husband Martin have been married for only a year, and are still clearly in the honeymoon phase. Although if you see them together, you would assume they will be all gaga over each other even after fifty years of marriage behind them.

"Go for it girl." I smile at her and walk back to the kids.

"Alright guys, great work for the day. Cynthia's going to take you out the back entrance where your parents will collect you." I help grab the kids bags, knowing Max won't stay quiet long, and head with them to the back.

"Miss Shawna? Have you figured out who is going to play the princess?" Lillian asks as I place Mariah's backpack over her shoulder.

"Not yet, but I promise, you all will get your chance to audition." I smile knowing my choice is pretty obvious. Lillian is a natural and I'm already thinking she can go far. Her parents support her and she's passionate about all things dance. I'll still host an audition but I think I've already gotten my main start right in front of me.

Once I walk the kids outside, I spend the next ten minutes speaking with the parents about our next session and how I need the kids to audition for the showing coming up in the a few months. After answering each of their questions, I say goodbye to Cynthia and head back to the main entrance and open the door. Max stands there looking angry and enraged as he zooms past me and looks around the now empty room.

"What, you ashamed of me or something?" He asks throwing his hands in the air.

"What? No. I would never be ashamed of you Max. Why the hell would you ever think that?"

"I don't know? Maybe because when I go to speak with your assistant, she has no idea how I am. Or how it took you about half an hour to finally let me in. You hiding something?" He stalks over to me and gets in my face but I simply push him out of the way and walk over to begin cleaning up as I answer him.

"You've got some nerve Max. I'm at work and I work with children, I can't just have my assistant letting anyone in here at their will. Even the parents have to sign in and out each time. I've only had Cynthia for the last couple of months, she does know who you are but has never met you."

My anger level is rising as he stands there looking ready to pick a fight. This is my new normal. He's been itching for an argument each and every time we are near each other. If he isn't angry, then he is drunk or accusing me of hating him and lying to him, just like he is now. I hate this and hate how much I know it's just pain in disguise.

"I've got nerve? You're the one acting like you can't wait to get away from me? I know about you going to my mom the other night."

"Me? I wake up, you're gone. I go to the clubhouse, you're not even there. I don't know where the hell you go, but one thing I don't do, is go to your work acting like some asshole just because I didn't see you that morning. I'm here teaching, it's not like I'm at a damn strip club, and I went to your mother because I needed someone to talk to. You won't open up to me and I am worried about you."

"What the hell do you want from me Shawna? I'm fuckin' going through something here. I thought I was coming home to have a girl that would understand that, yet you're doing nothing but acting like goddamn brat every time I just need to cool down."

Oh fuck no.

"I'm not understanding? Max, you came to me, not the other way around. I am here for you, I have tried to get you to open up to me, but you insist on keeping everything bottled up, so I let it go. What the hell do you want me to do? I won't beg you to open up. I've done everything when it came to you being overseas. I read books, went to support groups, hell Max, I even went and hung out with your mom just so I can have a piece of you with me. How dare you tell me that I'm not understanding. I'm the only one who does."

Our voices are becoming louder and louder as we shout at each other. We are both saying hurtful things and before I know it Max grabs one of the kid's chairs and throws it across the room smashing it into the mirrors. Glass tumbles everywhere as I watch him go for more and more items to throw and destroy. I finally snap out of it enough to know if he keeps going he is going to destroy everything I have ever put into this place.

I run over and jump on his back and try to scream his name to get him to stop. This is not the Max I know. The Max I know would never get this angry. The Max I know would never get violent or speak to me this way. Max went overseas but I don't think he ever came back home.

"Max stop!" I yell out pulling on his cut as he tries to grab the ballet bars.

"Fuck you Shawna, get the fuck off me." Max says as he yanks the bar towards him.

He slips and we both fall back, hitting the hardwood floor hard. Max's body lands right on my ankle and I scream out in pain. I look up to see Max is getting up to continue to destroy. I can hear him mumble and yell out a few things but I can't make out what he is actually saying.

In the corner of my eye, I can see red and blue sirens coming towards the studio and know that in a few seconds, they are going to have guns trained on Max and that will not end pretty. For anyone.

"Max, stop!" He continues his onslaught of destruction as I try to get his attention. "Max, the cops are coming you have to stop."

Max's state of mind is vulnerable and I know what I must do to snap him out of all this. I'm guessing someone must have called the cops when they heard the screaming and yelling, not to mention all the damage being done. Next door is a photography studio and there is someone mostly always there.

"Okay, you're right. You're right Max. I have been lying to you. I've been cheating on you since you first left. I just couldn't handle it anymore. I hate you, I hate everything we are putting each other through. Just leave. Please just leave."

I watch my plan painfully unfold as Max stops his yelling and destruction and looks over to me with a pained expression in his eyes. His face goes from furious, to broken in a matter of moments and I know in that second, I have just lost the love of my life, and everything that would have come with it.

Max leaves the room without a second glance in my direction and I sit there clutching my ankle as tears run down my chest. I look around and take in all the wreckage. Glass is everywhere, my students chairs are bent and broken apart. The ballet bars are pulled from the ground and there are holes in the walls and floors.

The police bang on the door yelling to see if there is anyone in here and to let them in. I don't move from my spot as my whimpers become loud sobs. When the police finally break the door and enter the room I finally lose it and crawl into a ball letting it all out. My pent up frustration, the fear I felt with Max being overseas, the anger when he returned but wasn't the same. It all comes out then and here.

"Ma'am, we need to know what happened here. We're you attacked?"

I shake my head but no words come out. I have to speak with them because if I don't they will assume the worst and go looking for who may have done this.

"N-no, I wasn't attacked. I did this. I did all of this."

Just like that everything is ruined and I am arrested. I saved Max's life, but ruined mine in the long run. It's something I don't think I will ever be able to live down.

"It was your mess Max, but I didn't want that for you. You were going through so much at the time, I wouldn't have had the right conscious to let you take the fall for that."

"And yet, you let me believe you cheated on me all his time. I get right then and there, but why didn't you find me after and tell me what I did?"

I smile thinking of all the times Inette and Ivan told me the same thing. Hell, even Miss O'Neal called me a stupid girl for not telling Max, but I had my reasons and because they were mine, they felt validated.

"Because Max. I know you. You have a good heart. It would have destroyed you knowing you not only caused all that damage but got me arrested as well. I'm not into stereo types but even I know they exist. I got off with only probation and some community service, but you wouldn't have. They would have most likely thrown you in jail, and that's if you didn't go ballistic seeing all the trained guns on you. My punishment was to pay for all the damage to the owner of the building. The insurance covered a large sum of it but if I wanted to get it up and running again, I needed more money, hence me working for the club."

Max walks back over to me and places his forehead gently against mine. I close my eyes and listen to his words as he caresses my back.

You're amazing Shawna McBride. Even after all the times I was rotten to you, all the times I was horrible or acted like a dick, you were in my corner the entire time. I don't know what I ever did to deserve you, but I plan on making it up to you every step of the way."

I look at Max's eyes and see the expression of love he has for me. I close my eyes and rest my relish in the feeling of being whole.

"You're the new owner Shawna." I lean my body away quickly and look at him confused. What the hell is he talking about? "Miss O'Neal told me everything. After you were released from the hospital, she came down and nearly kicked my ass over what happened. You know she has a black belt?"

I laugh, thinking this possibly could be true. She's a very powerful woman and has some stories from back in her time that leads me to believe that she might have been the one of the original mafia members.

"As soon as I figured it all out I immediately went down and bought it, then put it in your name. I'm so sorry I put you through everything Shawna. I had no idea that all of that happened, but I have to admit I was more relieved than anything else. The thought of you with someone else while I was away was something I'm not proud that I thought about. Getting your letters, getting your packages, it was all reassurance, but the more days we were out there, the more I thought about how unfair it was for you to wait for me."

"Max, I would have waited forever for you. There was never anyone else because I couldn't ever even think that way. You are my forever, you always were you big ugly mug."

"I love you Shawna. And congratulations, you now own this lovely studio."

"I love you too Max."