Abby

I can still see him. Still hear the sound of the gun going off inside my head. I've been home for a little over three hours, and even with all the noise, the people swarming around me, and everyone comforting me, I feel as cold and lonely as I did while sitting in that phone booth waiting on help.

My eyes remain focused on the sheets as I lay on my bed and let Slice check me over. Candice sits in a small chair on the side of me holding my hand and letting her tears fall. I haven't said a word since Austin and Chance picked me up. Simply fell into his arms and sobbed. He did exactly what I needed. Held me, stayed silent and took me home.

"Abby." I cringe when I hear Chance's voice. It's deep, deeper than normal. Full of emotion and worry and I immediately open my eyes and zone in on him.

It's always been him.

I notice Austin in the corner on the phone, I assume telling everyone that I am alive and well. He told me when I was first picked up that my father was in the hospital. I hated that my actions caused my father such pain and agony. Guilt hits me hard when I think of how I should have fought for my life. If I did that, maybe Bone wouldn't be fighting for his life with a large knife wound. It was the same thing when my mother died, the same feeling of regret and guilt. It was because of me she died.

Why do I have to be such a baby? Why does weakness cover me?

I feel him before I hear him. Chance comes over, taking my hand and folds me into his warmth. I hadn't known I had begun crying once again. Didn't notice the tears streaming down my face or the sobs breaking me down one at a time. I can hear his whispers to me, telling me that I am safe, that he is here, that he won't let anything happen to me.

"We should give them a minute Austin." I hear Candice tell her husband but look over when I hear Austin clear his throat.

"Sorry babe, can't do that. Too much on the line right now." Austin looks over to me and approaches with caution.

We haven't discussed what happened but judging by the way he looks at me with weary eyes, he must assume the worst.

"Bone is awake again. He knows about the kidnapping and knows you're home now. Lyla says he will have a full recovery and will be released tomorrow. Know you need some time darlin'. But I need to know what went down."

I nod my head in agreement, hating that I have to say this in front of Chance but also grateful I have his strength to focus me. I don't want to be a blubbering mess when I tell this story, for once I want to be strong. Taking a few deep breaths I look from Chance to Austin and begin.

"My dad and I were arguing. He was drinking pretty heavy after the wedding and I wanted to check on him. He hated that, told me I was babying him." I can feel Chance tense at my words and look down at my fingers playing with the soft white blanket flowing around me on my bed.

"Keep going baby." Chance whispers in my ear creating a row of goosebumps to cover my flesh. I shift, knowing damn well he can feel it and lock eyes once again with Austin.

"I was upset, he had said some hurtful things and I just wanted away from him." My eyes water and everything from the last twenty-four hours washes over me. The fear of not knowing if the stranger was going to rape me at any point, the worry that I wouldn't ever see my father or Chance again, everything that I had been holding in begins spilling out."

"Maybe we should come back and do this another time." Candice says but I stop her and Austin from leaving.

"W-wait. Please, I need to finish this. Austin is right. You guys need the information I have." I wipe my eyes and take in more of the courage I need to keep going.

"I walked out front, dad was right behind me, begging me to listen to him. We started talking and that's when those guys jumped us. They grabbed my father first, held a gun to my head. I was so scared. They didn't say a word. Didn't ask for money or anything. They just stabbed dad and took me." Chance growls from behind me but I keep my eyes trained on Austin. It's strange seeing him in control of everything. We grew up together, a bunch of kids running around the clubhouse we used to be, and now he demands the respect of every brother here.

"Did you know where you were?" Austin chimes in.

"No. I was in some kind of basement to a house. All the furniture was new, like it was the kind of home they model, not for living in. There was only one man there, and he." My voice drags off as I remember his hands on me. "He never spoke. Not until Alberts showed up."

"Alberts was there?" Chance asks from behind me. I turn and meet his eyes, melting into his pool of deep brown irises.

"Yes. He came a few hours later. He was panicked and worried. Said that his men were dropping like flies because of the Warriors and Road Kings. He asked that guy to keep me until he knew he could transfer me somewhere else."

"How did you get out Abby?" Austin asks and I take another deep breath. I knew this question was coming but there is something about telling someone what went down that makes me feel nothing but guilt.

"I had no choice, I had to Austin. I had no choice, he came at me with a gun. He just kept hurting me over and over again and I knew I wouldn't be able to get out." My words spill out of my mouth as I give them each the gruesome details of the fight, all the way down to the last moment of me pulling the trigger. By the end, I am crying so hard that Austin leaves, declaring we are done talking and Candice goes to get me some tea.

"I'm so sorry babe." Chance says rocking me back and forth.

I welcome his touch, but it also feels foreign. For years I have made a fool out of myself by practically declaring my love for him. I know he holds the world on his shoulders and doesn't plan on sharing it with anyone. He has made it clear it the past that we can be nothing more than friends, but my heart never gets the memo.

I can remember the first time I met him, watched him walk into the compound, unsure of his surroundings but confident enough in himself to have no fear walking around a bunch of bikers. I had been crying after a fight with my father and didn't want anyone to see me. How foolish of me, because Chance always saw me. It's like my heart called to his in its pain. Austin was needed elsewhere, leaving Chance to wonder around for himself. When he found me, I was in the hallway trying to wipe off the evidence of yet another argument between me and Bone. He had told me something I will never forget.

"I learned years ago how to hide my pain, but someone so beautiful shouldn't have to."

I look up at his eyes and part my mouth when I realize its only inches from his. Too many times we have been in this same position. I'm not stupid, I know Chance wants me physically, but something holds him back each and every time. I lean forward, praying that he will simply kiss away all my pain and hurt, and make the demons vanish. Chance leans in, almost meeting me halfway but stops at the last second, stands up and walks out of the room.

I'm not worth even a simple kiss. That's all my mind will wrap around as I fall into a pitiful sleep.