Abby

I run the water over the last dish and move on to the silverware. My mind has been working overdrive lately and now that Chance is gone and dad is home, it's like everything is back to normal. I'm invisible once again, the last person everyone thinks about and although it has never bothered me in the past, this time I feel truly alone with my deep thoughts.

It's been over a week of nightmares and they don't want to get better. Every single detail of the day I was taken haunts me throughout the day. I feel no peace, no calm. Nothing but panic.Chance has tried talking to me, but I give him the same dejected smile I give everyone else. I tell him that I am fine, and that everything is alright, but the truth is, I am dying inside. I feel alone, even when I am surrounded by a stream of people.

Scrubbing the sponge across the knife set, I look up at the clock and see that it's already midafternoon. I have been given a few days off work due to a fake car accident Candice made up when she called my work, and as much as I appreciate the lies for me, I need something to take my mind off the one image it cannot stop repeating.

Pain slices through my finger and I scream out looking down to realize I cut myself with one of the knives I was washing. I stick my finger in my mouth and jump when I hear a loud crash from behind me.

Bone stands there with a gun pointed right at my head. His eyes are red and half way open and he is wobbling around, leaning on the door frame of the kitchen.

Drunk.

The gun stays directed at my head and my pain in my finger disappears as visions of the night my mother passed flash through my head. Time stands still as I remember all the emotions I felt in those moments. My mind originally made all the memories foggy, as if they were some sort of dream I created. But as the years went by, each time I would imagine my mother, it wasn't her beautiful face I would see, it was the one with a gaping hole in the side of her face while her eyes stayed open and peering into mine. Nightmares of her body coming alive and coming after me, only made her memory more frightening until I finally gave in on trying to remember what she looked like. I no longer wanted to know.

"Fuck Abby. Could have fuckin' shot you. The fuck you screamin' about?" Bone's words snap me out of my stupor, and I wipe at the tears falling. "I'm sorry darlin', I thought¡­..I just thought." He shakes his head and I run to my room not able to stop the flowing of tears.

Collapsing atop my pillow I let out my frustration of the situation that is my life. I'm absolutely sick to my stomach with the guilt I have for my mother's death and seeing the way my father is with his heavy drinking since she has passed, I collect that as my fault as well.

A knock at the door stops my sobs and I listen as Chance's voice comes through.

"Abby, let me in baby." I close my eyes at his endearment and stand doing as told.

Chance stands tall at my door. He isn't wearing his cut, just a black sweater and jeans but he looks edible. His brown hair is rumpled from no doubt rubbing his hands through it, and his deep brown eyes stare down at me with concern.

"What happened babe?" He asks, his voice a low whisper as he closes the door behind him.

"Nothing¡­ really, I just overreacted." I state when he lifts his eyebrows up in doubt.

"Heard you scream, saw your dad babe. Know it wasn't just overreacting. You don't have to downplay everything." I shake my head, tears at the brim of my eyes once again and walk back over to my bed. I've always had a small bedroom. It's pale purple walls from when Tomas Stone, Austin and Max's father panted it, still remains. I have a few trinkets hung up here and there, but besides that, it's plain, barren. Soulless. Just like its occupant.

"I can see him Chance." I begin clutching my pillow to my body. "I can see him every time I close my eyes. Every nightmare I have, every second of every day, I see his face."

"Can't keep this stuff in babe."

"Oh yeah? Who the hell am I supposed to tell that I see a dead man's face everywhere I go?" I ask wiping more tears. "Who is going to comfort me when I tell them that I can still smell the blood and gun smoke? Who should I confide in to say that I feel guilt for killing a man that wanted to trade me? That wanted to kill me?"

Instead of shock, Chance walks over and looks at me with kindness.

"You know, don't you?" I ask as he sits on the edge of my bed, making my room look ten times smaller.

"Austin had Torque look up the guy that held you in the basement. We know what his role was in the world."

"So that's the reason you are looking at me with pity right now."

"I don't©¤"

"Yes Chance, you are. You are looking at me the same way everyone did when my mother died. The same way everyone does when my father turns up drunk. I didn't tell any of you what he was because you would have figured it out anyway." I nearly shout but his face doesn't change.

"Abby, what happened babe?"

"Why? So you could bring it back to Austin and the table?" My anger is routed in the wrong direction, but I can't help but take it out on him. I knew Torque and the guys would find the information they needed but if I were to tell them what he was, they would most likely ask me questions I didn't want to answer.

"Not gonna bring them shit darlin'. You were right when you said we wouldn't need to know the details. But you can't keep this shit bottled up forever. It will drive you insane."

"Pot, meet kettle." I mumble but he hears me and blesses me with a small smirk.

"Guess you're right." He says then lays flat on his back with his eyes closed and hands behind his head. "Know what I've learned though?" He doesn't wait for me to answer before he continues speaking. "I've learned that you have to use all the shit that makes your skin craw, all the anger and resentment you feel, the horrible feeling of being helpless, use it all to make you stronger. It's the only way to get past all that shit."

I think long and hard about his words and lay on my back beside him. Chance is fully clothed, and I have my sweats and a big tee on, but I've never felt so intimate with him. After a few silent moments, I reveal everything to him.

"He was quiet. The kind of quiet where you would think he calculated everything before he would react to anything. The first time he touched me, I thought the worst." I let the tears flow as I feel Chance tense beside me. "He wouldn't stop touching my breasts, even when I scream. Eventually he stopped and just walked away. The next time he did the same thing, only he cupped me down there too. I was so scared Chance. So worried I was never going to get out of there and never going to get away. I came so close to just accepting the inevitable. I hated the feeling of being defenseless. Hated that he had so much goddamn power over me. His eyes were so dead as he molested me. It told me just how many women were in my exact spot, but never got away."

Chance shuffles towards me but I don't turn to see him. I feel his arm cover me and I hold onto it with comfort.

"Fuck babe, I'm so fuckin' sorry. But please know that you are safe now, nothing will ever get to you again. This may have happened to you, but you're not a victim Abby. You're a survivor." I turn towards him and lay my head on his chest. My tears continue to flow, and he holds me until they are all dried up.

"Chance?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you." I look up at him and feel his thumb move softly against my cheek. It reaches my mouth and I open slightly for him. I hear him moan when his thumb goes inside and meets my tongue. Pulling it back out slowly, his eyes catch mine and I take the opportunity and move in closer, latching my lips onto his.

It's slow at first, he lets me control the kiss, but once Chance hears me moan, he takes over. His arms snakes around my body, pulling me somehow closer to him. His palm cups my ass while his other hand holds my face. It's intimate, it's hot, it's everything I've always wanted from him.

I feel his tongue dart into my mouth clashing with mine, drawing out another moan with his name mixed in. He adjusts us to where I am on top and he is sitting up on my bed, cupping my ass with both palms. The feeling he is drawing out between my legs is so powerful that I begin rubbing against his jeans. I can feel how hard he is through his pants and it makes me want so much more.

Before I can count to ten, Chance curses and releases my body. I am shaking with adrenaline from him, but it quickly vanishes when he speaks.

"Fuck Abby. Can't do this babe. It's not right." He says shaking his head.

The feeling of rejection returns full frontal and I get off him and stare at the wall. I Can feel him shift and come towards me and the moment his hand touches my back, I tense.

"Don't touch me." I whisper, hating that once again my voice sounds weak.

"Abby©¤"

"Just go Chance¡­..Please."

Chance stands and leaves but before I can collapse into my pitiful tears, I hear the unmistakable sound of gun fire.

¡ù¡ù¡ù

Memories are strange.

After my mother passed, I stopped remembering what she looked like. I stopped recalling her laugh, or how much she loved to dance. Every detail of everyday I had with her was slowly fading and there wasn't anything I could do about it. Julia, Austin and Max's mother, would tell me that deep down I could never truly forget my mother, but I needed to replace the bad memories, like her death, with important ones I once had with her.

I never knew wat she meant until this moment.

I can remember playing with mom as a child. She was always active and playful with me. My favorite game for the longest time was hide and seek. The exhilaration would always drive me to hide for the longest time. Under my bed was always a scary spot for me, but this particular time I had tried it out. Mom found me, tickled me and told me how proud she was that I hid in what I would always call scary.

Brave. She had called me brave.

Now as I sit under my bed, listening to gun shot after gun shot. I feel anything but brave. I cover my ears until I no longer hear them and listen out for any particular noise. I peak my head around my room for a quick inventory. I need to arm myself, just in case those guys come back to finish what they started with me and my father on Christmas Eve.

Not able to spot anything useful, I jump when I hear loud booming footsteps followed by crashing and grunting. Putting on a brave face, I slip out and grab my lamp off the end table near my bed. Walking slowly over to my door, I open it and look down the hall. It's dark, all lights are off, but the bright moon is allowing me to see just enough to know Chance when I see him, and he is not alone. He's fighting with a man dressed in all black.

"Abby, go. Run." He yells out while holding the guy down on the ground. The man is bigger than Chance and isn't going down easily. Chance is trying his hardest, but he won't be able to defend himself if this guy isn't alone. Instead of running, I move forward, holding the lamp in my hands, and lift it up above my head when I reach the two of them. Neither of them see me coming as I smash the lamp down atop the strangers head.

His body immediately goes limp, so I take a few steps back. Besides my rapidly beating heart, something he has to be able to hear, Chance's heavy breathing is the only noise in the hallway. He stands, clutching his side and walks over to me, enveloping me into a bear hug I desperately needed.

"Told you to fuckin' leave." He says but clutching me tighter.

"I thought you left." I ignore his jab about me not listening to him. Did he honestly think I would let him fight that man alone?

"Your dad went to the bar, called me, told me to stay here. Fuck babe, if I had left¡­." I don't let him continue torturing himself with the what if's. I lean up and place my hands on his face.

"I'm okay Chance." I look over to the stranger that tried to kill us. He doesn't look familiar at all. He's tall, with a muscular build. He's wearing a black hoodie with black pants and boots. "Do you know who he is?"

"No. But I'm going to have Ghost and one of the prospects come and get the body. As far as I can tell he was alone. Go and grab some clothes baby, ain't safe to stay here anymore. Want you at the clubhouse from now on." I nod my head and run back to my room. I pack lightly, a couple pair of pants, two shirts, some pajamas, and some toiletries. I don't take long, and when I walk back out of my room, I see Chance on the phone.

"No, she's good. Just fuckin' get here and take the body back to the clubhouse." He hangs up and I walk over, glancing at the now propped up stranger. He is wrapped in some kind of wire Chance must have found.

"Austin?"

"Yeah, got everything?" I nod my head and stare at him. "You okay?"

"Yes."

Chance practically drags me out of the house and as we pass the living room, I see why. There are bullet holes everywhere. Knowing my father or I could have been in the line of fire makes me sick to my stomach, but I hold it in and get lost in Chance's warmth.

He turns on his bike and I hop on right behind him. We pass up Ghost and their new prospect Chip, on the way. Thoughts consume me as I think of everything I just witnessed. My body's adrenaline begins to decline and panic sets in.

My father could have been dead right now.

That guy could have come in to kidnap me and sell me.

Chance could have been hurt.

I shake my head, trying to kill all negative thoughts away. I'm safe, my father is at the clubhouse, I'm on the back of Chance's bike, but none of that can overcome the anxiety I feel of what happened to me last week and the chaos this club has put me through over the years. My breathing hitches and I begin to have a panic attack. My mind races and I can't do anything to slow it down. My vison begins to blur, and I feel myself letting go of Chance's body.

Closing my eyes to try and steady myself, I feel the bike swerve and slow down onto a dirt road. Chance flies off the bike, pulling me down to the ground with him.

"Abby? Abby look at me" I shake my head, still attempting to steady my breathing. "You are stronger than this Abigail. You are stronger than the shit mess we are dealing with. Look at me baby." I open my eyes and focus my attention to Chance. There are cars zooming by us, bright lights illuminate the businesses near us and noise from the night surround us, but right now he is all I see, all I hear.

"I'm o-okay." I nod my head.

"Good. Cause we are sitting fuckin' ducks baby. Let's go." We stand and head right back to the bike.

He's right. I am stronger than this. I just hope this is close to being over.