Chapter Four

Still hurts in sunlight

Annabelle's POV

“Vanessa, New York doesn't hold pleasant memories for me and you know that. I can't come back.”

“I understand, Anna. I do. But you're not even going back to that house anymore,” Vanessa pleads, clasping her palms together in front of her.

“It’s not the house, Vanessa. It’s the whole fucking country. He's everywhere!” I snap, frustrated. I know she won't drop this till I agree, which only makes me more agitated.

“You don't have to see him if you don't want to. He doesn’t even know where I live anymore. This is a whole different life for you.”

“It’s okay, Venny. I’ll think about it,” I say, knowing damn well I’ve lost this one again.

“Promise?” she presses.

“I promise.”

I still wake up sweating from dreams of that final fight. His voice. His lies. The way he looked at me like I was nothing. That memory alone twists my stomach.

Vanessa and her husband practically saved my life. They helped me move to Italy, where I stayed until I gave birth to my baby boy, Charlie. They even got me a flexible job at a hospital in Venice, so I could work and still have time for him.

“Mommy, I’m late for school!” I look up. Charlie, my four-year-old, is bouncing on his feet, already dressed. It’s his first day of school, and unlike most kids, he’s buzzing with excitement. He usually spends his days with me or at daycare, so this is a big deal.

“Say hi to Auntie Vanessa before we go,” I tell him.

He bounces over and peeks into the phone. His face lights up at the sight of his cousins. “Hi, Charlie!” they yell from the screen.

Vanessa and I laugh as the kids go at it.

Charlie calls Charlotte “Charlie,” while she calls him “Pookie.”

She overheard me call him that when he was a baby, and it just... stuck.

The whole drive to work after dropping Charlie off has me thinking.

Am I really ready to go back?

It’s been four years... but is four years enough?

I sigh.

Going back means risking it all.

But maybe... maybe it’s time to stop running.

After a year of Vanessa and her husband chipping away at my defenses, I finally agreed to move back to New York. I won’t lie the move was pretty seamless. I already had a job lined up, just in a different hospital, thanks to my uncle, Vanessa’s dad.

It’s a little far from Vanessa’s new apartment, where Charlie and I are staying for now, but it’s across town from my old house and job.

Feels like starting over. Literally.

And then there’s Lucius.

He’s always had a thing for me. Now that I’m back and officially done with Walter, he’s doubled down on the chase. Charming. Handsome. Rich. Basically everything a girl’s supposed to want. But I told him I’m not ready to date again.

He just shrugged and said, “I’m here for Charlie.”

And he really has been. For the past five months, he’s shown up for my boy,ice cream runs, random toys, even picked him up from school a few times.

“He’d make a great stepdad,” Vanessa teases sometimes.

Today, we’re at the park. Lucius is off getting us ice cream when Charlie taps me.

I lean down, and he drops the twenty-billion-dollar question.

“Mommy… is that my daddy?”

My heart skips a beat. I clench my fingers willing my body to relax.

I crouch down to look into his eyes. “No, pookie. He’s not. Your daddy is in heaven,” I say again, lying with ease, like I’ve done so many times before.

He’s a smart kid. Extroverted, curious. Lying to him isn’t easy.

And honestly? Charlie could pass as Lucius’s son. Same chocolate brown hair from me. But not those green eyes.

Lucius’s eyes are brown.

Charlie's are green just like her father’s, Walter.

Charlie nods and rubs behind his ear, just like Walter used to do when he was thinking.

It shakes me every time.

He hates peanut butter, sleeps on his stomach… all Walter.

But his sweet tooth? That’s all me.

Charlie runs over to Lucius, while I sit back on the bench.

Then it hits me.

The last time I saw Walter.

Like a memory crash-landing into my chest.

Him kissing that woman right in front of me, looking straight at me but getting into that car and driving away like I wasn't his fiancee. Like I wasn't wearing his princess cut diamond 10 carat ring.

It angers me that this man, the memory of him can still hurt me even after these years.

My vision blurs. I blink fast. I can’t cry here.

I shake my head to push it away… but then I see him.

Walter.

He’s walking toward me.

And in his arms? A little girl that looks just like him.

Oh my God.

No.

Not now. Not today. I’m not ready.

But I can’t hide forever. I can't ignore this man because it doesn't erase the fact that he's the father of my child.

The man I once loved with everything in me.

I take a deep breath and stand on shaky legs, praying for strength.

Wait.

Has he seen me?

He’s facing this way, but... maybe not?

Thank God.

I start to turn.

“Annabelle?”

Shit.

There goes my escape.

I turn slowly, mentally bracing myself.

He’s already behind me. How the hell did he move that fast?

“Annabelle? How… what are you doing here?” Walter says, smiling like this is a happy surprise.

“Walter,” I bite out, cold. I make sure all the hate I’ve been carrying shows in my face.

His smile drops. Good.

“Anna, I’ve missed you—”

“Oh, please. Don’t start. I had my fill of your lies five years ago.”

He frowns, opens his mouth to say something but the baby girl he’s holding beats him to it.

“Dadda! Ice cream!” she says, bouncing in his arms.

Daddy.

Right.

“Daddy,” I echo, my voice low and bitter. “Of course. Good for you. I didn’t expect anything less from a cheater.”

The words come out sharp, meaner than I intended, but I don’t take them back.

I thought I hated him before.

But this?

This is worse.

It’s uglier than hate.

Tears threaten. I blink them away. I will not cry in front of this man.

Walter looks… shocked? Hurt? Whatever.

Good.

“What’s going on here, Annabelle?” I hear Lucius behind me.

I’ve never been more grateful to hear his voice.

“Take me home, please,” I say quietly.

“Sure. Let’s go.” Lucius doesn’t hesitate, just takes my hand.

I lean into him, trying to keep it together.

“Mummy, are you okay?” Charlie asks, his little face scrunched in concern.

“Yes, pookie. I’m fine.” I manage a smile. “Let’s get you home. Nap time.”

I glanced back once.

Walter’s still standing there, holding the little girl.

He looks… broken.

But I don’t soften.

I can’t.

He doesn’t deserve my pity.

I square my shoulders and walk away, Lucius’s quiet strength keeping me steady.