I wasn't sure what to focus on, the sheer volume of Tyler’s commentary, the lovely blue top I caught on display two shops ago, or the growing stares from strangers staring at the parade of chaos we were creating.

Tyler was all smiles and flirtation, casually winking at anyone who made eye contact, not caring for gender. The rollercoaster of reactions from the men and women grew terrifying.

“My my, a dark swan in this pond of filth,” he told a woman passing by, giving her a once-over ...