When the driver delivers us at the hospital, Slater and the doctor promptly swoop in as Hamilton staggers from the SUV. They glue themselves to his sides, assisting him into the hospital where the Cubs staff ensures we are whisked up to a VIP room. I’m surprised to find a couple of security guys arriving to protect our privacy. Oh, the perks of being a pro-athlete.

Hamilton continues his horny ways, much to my humiliation. The others do their best to ignore his behaviors, but there ...