When I was in high school, some girl decided she had a problem with my face and threatened to shoot me. I didn't take that threat lightly, and since I was the slayer who maimed and murdered on the regular, I could've dragged her behind the building to kick her vagina up into her nose. But I didn't. That wasn't me. Her problem with my face had to have come from somewhere, just not the place I'd expected.

This girl, whose name shall remain nameless, kind of reminded me of Roseff, the ...