Broadrick's eyes glazed over for a moment, and then he shook his head and continued. "Basically, it's where they warn you to get your shit in order because the odds are likely that you aren't coming home."

I sucked in a breath. Our government wouldn't do that?

Wait. Maybe they would.

"They only picked single guys from my unit for the mission, and as a team, we decided it'd be better to lie to our families about where we were going, so they didn't worry. I told my parents I had an assignment in Thailand, so internet and phone signal were spotty. But with you... I couldn't bring myself to lie."

I scratched behind NB's ear to keep my hands busy, and so I didn't blurt out the questions I had for him. Broadrick had never been so forthcoming before, and I didn't want to mess it up now that he was being chatty.

"I planned to tell you the same story, but doubted you'd believe it as easily as my mother." He smiled, and I grinned at him, too. He was definitely correct on that assumption.

"Late one night, I ran through all the scenarios of what you'd go through if I died. Who'd tell you? Would you come to my funeral? I finally decided that I'd rather you hate me forever but get to go on with your life rather than mourn me and what we might have had one day. If I broke up with you, you'd live life and find someone new."

I scratched at NB's ear harder but couldn't hold back the comment. "That wasn't your choice to make and wow, exalt yourself much?"

Broadrick really thought that if he died, I'd never be able to love anyone else ever again? Sure, he was right, but I didn't have to admit it.

He squished NB between us to place a quick kiss on my temple. "Regardless, I didn't want missing me to be your future."

"So you broke my heart in email instead. Then what happened?" NB nibbled on my fingers, and I had to pull them from his mouth. Could dogs get oral fixations?

Broadrick leaned back against the couch like he'd used all his energy holding himself up. "We left for our mission and it was... horrible. I've seen nothing like it. They sent us in to save a special forces operative who'd been taken hostage earlier in the year. Before we could save him, we had to figure out where he was. It meant injecting ourselves into their society."

"It took us almost three months to find him and devise a way to interrupt the systems the government wanted taken out."

"Wait, what? How did we go from rescuing a guy to interrupting systems?"

Broadrick snorted. "You didn't think the US military sent in a team of highly trained professionals to risk our lives just to rescue one man. Did you? There's always something more. They wanted us to bring down the whole ring."

"Did you do it?" NB stretched to get a grip on my fingers, but I tucked them under the blankets.

He nodded. "Yeah, and Denny Rush took a bullet to the back in thanks. We found our rescue mission in terrible shape but got him out and then returned to clean up the targeted ring members so they'd have to rebuild. But Denny stopped to help some young kid-couldn't have been more than ten-get to safety before the building exploded. The kid had a gun hidden under his jacket and as soon as Denny stepped into the street, the kid shot him."

I covered my mouth and turned even more in his direction. My knees hit his thigh as I pulled them up on the couch. "Did he make it?"

Broadrick shook his head. "We had nowhere to take him. He bled out on the way to our bunker. I'd already questioned my choices before his death, but after watching him die, things changed."

"Like what?" I pulled NB from the covers and set him on the ground.

Broadrick stared into my eyes and let the dog jump on his lap. "Everything."

That's why he'd come to Pelican Bay.

"I joined the military to help people and see adventure, but I didn't want to be stupid and get myself killed. Especially not for helping someone I thought innocent. What was the risk worth? Had I ever really helped anyone by being in the government? None of it made sense after that."

"But..." I stopped myself, unsure how to ask my next question.

"How did I end up in Pelican Bay running military-grade weapons through a criminal channel in Maine?"

He summed it up nicely. "Yeah."

Broadrick smiled. "That is actually an interesting story. When we made it back to the states, I told my commanding officer I was taking my leave in Maine. He called me into his office and offered me another opportunity here. They said I performed well on the rescue and wanted me for a little more undercover work. I walked out of his office and put in my notice to leave the military."

"But you were still in Maine with the guns."

Broadrick laughed. "Yeah, no one leaves the military right when they quit. It's not like I can give a two-week notice. There's a timeline to things, dates to hit, classes to take.

"So, you're definitely still in the military?" His status had me so confused. I needed more time to search the internet and fact check him.

"For now. I'm transitioning. I finished up the gun thing-and no, I won't tell you more about it," he said and I rolled my eyes. "But I'm working as a consultant with Ridge now since I can't work while still on active duty. I'll take my classes and my ETS has me out at the end of the year."

I wanted to believe him. My heart so, so did. But could I?

"Did you get it in writing?" I asked.

He laughed for real that time. "Kind of, and I'll even show you the next time we go to my place."

A better person would have said she didn't need to see it, but I wasn't a better person. I planned to take a picture with my phone. Frame it.

"What is the plan once you are fully out of the military?"

Broadrick tipped his head to the side and glanced at NB, who was licking Broadrick's elbow and getting his thick navy thermal wet. "That is still to be determined. I don't want to be the only person who makes the choices from here on out."

I ignored what I thought he meant by that statement.

"What about adventure?" How did he go from wanting to retire from the military to settling in Pelican Bay?

Broadrick shrugged. "Being here is more adventure than I ever imagined. I don't know what fate will throw at us, but I have realized that I don't want to die in some other country running for my life from an explosion or shot in the street by a middle schooler. I'd rather kick the bucket from a Vonnie-induced heart attack."

He loved me? I rolled my eyes, but a short laugh escaped. The talk helped, but a part of me still hurt from what he'd done. "I just thought we were forever and then in a few words you erased it all."

Broadrick grabbed my hand. "Babe, we are forever. I'll do whatever it takes to prove it."

"Whatever?" I asked.

He raised his arms and opened them wide. "Jump through all the hoops."

I twisted back on the couch so my legs weren't on it and inched closer to him, leaning my head on his shoulder. "Are you sure? I have big hoops."

"The bigger the better." Broadrick moved NB to the side and put his arm behind my shoulders.

"And they're made from glitter."

He laughed. "Bring it." NB crawled over to my side of the couch and then stretched out between us. "So, we're dating again?"

I thought about my answer for a second. "No, but closer."

Hearing his story helped. I saw how that situation might be life-changing, and I even understood his messed-up thinking about how breaking up with me was best, but had he learned his lesson? Would he stick around? What about the next time he wanted to save me from something?

"Fine, I'll keep working, but no other guys."

I nodded and then stopped halfway in a downward motion. "I need to tell you something if we're being honest with one another. Unless you'd rather not hear."

Broadrick froze. Even his breath stopped, and his chest constricted like I'd hit him. "Vonnie."