With a closed fist, I hit my chest twice, trying to swallow the piece of egg from my throat. Huxley shook his head and turned back to the counter. Good to see I couldn't trust one of Ridge's guys to save my life if I needed it.

"Get a hold of yourself," Tony whispered across the booth after the coughing stopped. "We're in public."

I sucked down two gulps of water. "Is that so? I didn't notice with all the slobber."

Rebecca laughed. "I just love my Tony-Woney," she said, running her nose across his chin.

My eyes popped open at the name. Holy shit. She was an evil genius. I went for my orange juice once my throat stopped burning.

Tony raised a finger at me and mouthed the word, "No."

But could he really stop me?

"How is little Tony-Woney?" Rebecca asked, moving her gaze lower and giving Tony's pants a pat. "Does he miss me?"

I covered my mouth with my napkin, so I didn't spit orange juice over my remaining eggs. These two really would kill me, and I refused to die choking to death in the diner. Vonnie Vines didn't go out like a commoner. I needed a gun fight or high-speed chase.

Try as I might-which wasn't very hard-I couldn't stop my lips from stretching upward. "I'm seeing you in a whole new light, Tony."

Rebecca inched closer to Tony somehow. Any closer and she'd be sitting on his lap. They whispered back and forth to one another as I ate my eggs.

For wanting to break up with her, Tony sure wasn't doing a lot of the breaking up. He flashed his gaze at me with a panicked expression in his eyes.

Did he expect me to do it for him?

Here? Now?

He widened his eyes at me and pinched his lips together.

Oh, hell.

He did.

How did a tough bounty hunter break up with a clingy, brand-new girlfriend? I guess I saw his point about being in public. At least here she couldn't take off her shirt to win him back. Hopefully.

Rebecca ran her nose against his chin again, except this time her tongue ran along his neck. I almost gagged. The fear in Tony's eyes grew.

He obviously wasn't going to offer me any support in this venture.

"Vonnie, don't you have something to say?" he asked once Rebecca finished licking him.

I shook my head. "Not yet."

I finished most of the eggs and sipped my orange juice. A new couple walked into the diner and sat at the counter. Something sizzled in the kitchen.

How the hell did I break these two up and make it stick?

Would Tony kill me if I told his soon-to-be-ex he had a venereal disease? The clap was a big turnoff. Right? Surely, she wouldn't forgive him for that.

I stared at Tony, trying to gauge how much he'd blow his top.

He stared back. Something in his eyes said, "Hurry the fuck up, but don't say that."

Right. So not a sexually transmitted disease then.

Big tough bounty hunter types probably took offense at the possibility something was wrong with their penis. Eww. Now I'd just thought of Tony's dick. My entire face crinkled like I'd sucked on something sour.

I needed to hurry and get this over with before I had to buy eye bleach.

Maybe he had cancer. Cancer would work.

No, that wasn't right. Cancer wasn't a joke even in a necessary break-up scenario.

Plus, the probability of Tony being incapacitated might turn Rebecca into Florence Nightingale. She'd love the chance to share a hospital bed with him and spoon feed him soup.

"We should go back to your place," she said. "It's crowded here."

Tony coughed. "Don't you have something to say, Vonnie?"

"Yeah, sure do." I cleared my throat. Screw it. I'd have to wing it. "Unfortunately, Mr. Franco will be unable to return to his residence with you today."

Rebecca popped her head up to glare at me. "Why not?"

Yeah, Vonnie. Why not?

Car accident? No, he looked fine.

Sick mother? I couldn't fake kill off Tony's mother because what if she really got sick? Then he'd blame me.

Shit. I needed something good.

"I'm with the law firm Schit, Creeke, and Paddleton, based in Dallas. It's a very prestigious law firm." I struggled with the words, coming up with them as I went.

Tony groaned, and Rebecca stared at me with narrowed eyes. She wasn't buying it so far.

"Mr. Franco's family has been looking for him. They're asking him to return to them in New Mexico immediately."

Rebecca whipped her head in Tony's direction and let her mouth fall open. "You're not from the US?"

His brow furrowed and his lips turned into a tight straight line. "New Mexico is a state," he finally said.

She reared back like he'd just hit her and slid back a full foot from him on the bench. "I've never heard of it!"

We were driving way off track. Also, I had serious questions about the education system in Clearwater. What were they teaching over there? Condensation covered my orange juice glass, forcing me to wipe my hands on my pants after I set it on the table.

I needed to get this party back on track. "Anyway, the American map notwithstanding. Tony has a wife and six-no seven-children waiting for him at home. Jenny had the baby," I said, leaning across the table like I wanted only Tony to hear, but I definitely said it too loudly.

Tony squeezed the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. I don't know what he was worried about. This was gold.

Once I got going, the words just formed on their own accord. "It was a difficult pregnancy and hard delivery. She was in labor for over seventy-two hours, with no one there to help her through the struggles. Jenny's a fighter, as you know."

Tony's mouth hung open, his eyes unblinking.

I kept going. "Now the state is threatening to kick her out of her home for back rent, and they have nowhere to go. Jenny needs you to be the provider you promised her you'd be on your wedding day."

"You cheated on me?" Rebecca asked, getting loud.

"Technically, he cheated on Jenny with you." Also, did she miss the seven children part? And the delivery with no help? The back rent? Those were the best parts. Why sprinkle in the little details if she didn't appreciate them?

"You have children?" she practically bellowed. "Seven of them!"

There we go. Now she had her eyes on the good stuff.

She slid out from the booth but stood next to it, her open palms resting on the laminate to keep her up as she leaned over. "How could you?"

"He's a selfish man," I answered for him.

Rebecca threw her hands up, glaring at Tony. A vein in her forehead pulsed. She was really upset. Like hostile. Oh no. Maybe my story was too good.

But I couldn't go back on it now. It would blow my entire cover. I just had to wind it down without giving away the entire project.

"He's doing the right thing, Rebecca." I glanced at both of them with pity and shook my head. "It's time he returns to his family and becomes the man they always knew he could be. They need him in Arizona."

"New Mexico," Tony corrected me. He had his eyes half-closed but his head tilted toward the ceiling.

I jerked my head in agreement. "Yes, New Mexico."

"That's not even a state!" She whipped her head toward me, steam practically coming out of her ears. That didn't look good.

Rebecca hit the table with two closed fists, threw her head back, and screamed. Everyone in the diner turned to stare at our table. Huxley got up from his chair at the counter and started toward us.

I held up my hand to stop him. If Tony really wanted to remain single, we just had to let this play out. We were too far down the rabbit hole now.

Tony had his eyes closed with one hand still pinching the bridge of his nose. He understood the importance of continuing. They were definitely never getting back together after this.

I turned to glance behind me in time to spot Ember holding her phone toward us. Hopefully, she got my good angle. I flashed her a thumbs up and she smiled. One day Tony would look back at this with laughter. When that day came, he'd want the video evidence.

Without warning-well, besides the yelling and the monster scream-Rebecca grabbed my glass of orange juice from the table and threw it at Tony. Orange juice splashed against his chest and soaked his shirt.

"Hey! That was mine," I said, reaching for the glass, but it was already empty.

Tony sputtered, but before he got any words out, my shake landed on his chest next.

Rebecca and I both noticed the cinnamon roll at the same time. I reached for it. She could not ruin a good cinnamon roll on Tony's shirt. Rebecca beat me to the plate. She grabbed the roll and chucked it at Tony's head. It bounced off his forehead and landed on the table before rolling to the floor. White glaze dripped from his head, where it stuck to his short hair.

I bit my lips and kept my gaze on the table. I doubted he'd buy me another after what happened to that one.

"We're done!" Rebecca screamed. "Never call me again."

She stormed out of the diner, bashing her hands into the glass door and letting it swing wide. The sticky fingerprints she left behind would have sent Anessa into a coma if this were the bakery.

Tony stared at me. What was I supposed to say? I mean, that was eventful, but he probably already knew that. He was wearing the evidence of said event.

"Thanks, Vonnie," he said, wiping the glaze from his head.

"Well, you're officially single." I shrugged. My methods were untraditional but got the job done. "Unless the wife thing was true."